Intelligence officials say that terrorists had planned to sneak explosives aboard airplanes inside an energy drink and activate them with an MP3 player. Said one analyst, "We never should've given Pakistan the rights to syndicate 'MacGyver.'"

A man distracted by a low-flying pelican and dropped cell phone drove his sports car into a marsh near Galveston.  Today the man was hired as a pilot by Northwest Airlines.

A California man was sentenced to 2 years of jailtime for aiming a laser pointer at an airplane. He was also found in contempt for giving the judge a reindeer nose. 

 Wilbur and Orville Wright inventers of one of the first airplanes. Shown are the brothers before they even thought of building an airplane. Their inspiration to conceive of the idea baffles them both.

He was so intoxicated he couldn't even log in on his laptop.

A United Airlines pilot was arrested at London's Heathrow Airport yesterday for being drunk .  The co-pilot allegedly blew the whistle on pilot Erwin Vermont Washington just moments before they were to take-off . Washington denied he was intoxicated at the time of his arrest . As Scotland Yard detectives escorted Mr Washington out of the cockpit and into a waiting police car, he was heard shouting,  " You damned Brits still can't get over losing the colony 230 years ago ! "   Asked what he will do for a job afterwards, Washington told a reporter " I'll probably sign-up with Northwest Airlines . "

No one was seriously injured after a plane hit an SUV and made a crash landing in the street during rush hour traffic in North Las Vegas. A pilot and passenger in a home-built Dragonfly aircraft had just taken off from North Las Vegas Airport when it grazed overhead lines and flew over six lanes of traffic before hitting Candace Porter's SUV. Then the plane crashed landed in the street. The pilot was taken to the hospital with minor injuries, while the roof of Porter's SUV was damaged.  ***MARLAR: Sounds like the driver should’ve been in a Dodge.

Southwest has apologized to a mother who was kicked off a plane along with her unruly 2-year-old earlier this week.  The airline admitted exercising poor judgement in kicking the mother and child off the plane mid-flight.

...the manager of a Jamaican reggae band was arrested at Kennedy airport and charged with smuggling 2 lbs of marijuana into the country.  The man insists he is innocent and was framed, but the authorities claim he was caught dread handed.  

A Japanese jetliner is asking passengers to go to the bathroom before takeoff to help increase efficiency and cut down on pollution. All Nippon Airways has also started using recycled paper cups and switched from glass to paper bottles in an attempt to make every flight just a little bit lighter. They estimate that if 50% of passengers relieve themselves before boarding, the airline will produce 4.2 fewer tons of CO2 per month.  ***MARLAR: It’s bad enough that your dad tells you to go to the bathroom before going on a trip, now you’re going to hear it from your pilot.

The green movement is claiming that "diaper-free babies" will help save the planet.  That’s right – no diapers on babies at all.  They say disposable diapers create landfill waste, while washing cloth diapers pollutes the water.  So what is their solution?  Their "retro, cutting-edge, environmentally-friendly" idea is to encourage moms to let their babies go diaperless and carry tight-lidded buckets with them. They suggest parents get in tune with the baby's bodily signals, and when it's ready to, well, “let fly,” hold the baby over the bucket, a toilet, bushes, or any convenient receptacle.  ***MARLAR: How about holding the baby over the head of anyone who suggests this?  You think sitting next to a baby on an airplane is bad now…