Developers of the new New York Mets stadium are trying to calm local protesters by stressing the jobs and money that flow from a new ballpark--you know, in the way that Yankee Stadium has made the South Bronx such an economic miracle.

The New York State Supreme Court may rule this week on legalizing gay marriage--my opposition to gay marriage is rooted in my deep hatred of buying wedding gifts.  In fact, I support a straight marriage ban.  One more duvet cover and I'm broke.

Gas prices continue to pinch U.S. drivers.  Living in New York, I get to save that expense and take mass transit,  although I do spend $300 a month on pepper spray.  The good news is that I'm getting 40 miles per gallon of pepper spray.

"T-Rac," the Tennessee Titans' raccoon-like mascot, hit Saints quarterback Adrian McPherson with a golf cart as he walked onto the field for the second half Saturday night's game, bruising him and knocking him out of New Orleans' 19-16 victory in the teams' exhibition opener.

In response, New Orleans' mascot "Gumbo" loaded his t-shirt cannon with live ammunition and blasted the Titans' sideline repeatedly until sheriff's deputies subdued the rogue spirit-lifter.

Gumbo in happier times...

"He made us run more gassers than the infidel players," said third-year defensive back Salim Cooper.