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Lenny Marcus
"Yes honey, I do love the Yankees more than you... What?"
Manhattan, NY
      
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Lenny is a comedian, filmmaker, and one hell of a sardonic wiseass. He is so miserable he's happy.
Lenny used to be an advanced systems engineer but retired and now only uses his computer powers for good and not evil. Well okay, sometimes evil.
Loved by almost all, people constantly ask why he's still single and when it is revealed that his only interests are sports and comedy, no pretty woman will go near him.
Lenny will no longer be posting to daily comedy as of March 1, 2007 due to [more]
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 OMAHA, Neb. January 29, 2007 - Area drivers will soon be able to fill up with gasoline made from "terror-free oil." A gas station about to open near 129th and Q streets is named Terror Free Oil, and the idea is to offer consumers petroleum products from countries that do not sponsor terror.
You can either get the gas from the station, or from Ray Ellin who eats American baked beans 24 hours a day.
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 WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A fishing crew has caught a colossal squid that could weigh a half-ton and prove to be the biggest specimen ever landed, a fisheries official said Thursday.
"I didn't even know that Dick was in New Zealand", President Bush stated on Thursday.
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 WASHINGTON - Drawing this special comb over a balding pate could restore some real hair - according to, Lexington International LLC makers of the Hairmax Lasercomb.
The device, sold on the Web for $545, is the only drug-free product meant for home use in combatting hair loss that's won the endorsement of the FDA, the company said.
To fight baldness and help a man's self esteem, the FDA has also endorsed getting a woman drunk and having lots of money.
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 Former Miami Heat guard Tim Hardaway said yesterday on a radio show that he would not want to play on a team with a gay teammate.
Ironically, Tim is about to learn a lesson about bigotry, losing endorsement contracts, and adoring fans the Hard-a-way.
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Once upon a time, there was a high school dropout from Texas, named Vickie. She does everything wrong in her life: fails out of school, gets fired from jobs, and has a baby when she's 16. She hates her parents so she changes her name and becomes a stripper. She marries a 90 old guy for his money, then he dies making her rich. Not content to be a millionaire, (the now named) Anna becomes fat, gets her own TV show which shows that she's a whiney disgusting mess. She goes on a massive diet and gets slim. She gets bizarre looking plastic surgery. Her teenage son kills himself. She has another baby. The father could be one of three men, nobody really knows because she's a whore. She finally kills herself.
(Once the media frenzy dies down,) We all live happily ever after.
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 ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. (Feb. 5) - A woman playing the penny slots Saturday morning left the Resorts Atlantic City casino with her own little jackpot -- a new baby boy. Eight-months pregnant Nyree Thompson, 32, went into labor on the casino floor about 9:30 a.m.
Five minutes later, many patrons cheered once Nyreee delivered baby Qualeem because they bet on black.
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 SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - A tour group of U.S. senior citizens fought off a group of muggers in Costa Rica, killing one of the assailants, police said Thursday.
"Nobody turns the channel when I'm watching All My Children, Nobody!" said Mrs. Charles Dougherty of Glenside PA.
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