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Ricardo Aleman "I'm not trying to become famous.. I'm just trying to have a good time."
No matter where you are in your career, there a people that think you stink, and people that think you're amazing'. And they are both overreacting... as you become more famous... Both groups... the people that think you stink, and the people that think you're amazing... get bigger, and there's nothing you can do about it.
I was born in New Jersey. I dont speak Spanish. I dont even tan well... but I swear I'm Mexican... otherwise I wouldnt be allowed to own FunnyMexican.com
Drew Peterson, an innocent until proven guilty man, whose 4th wife disappeared, and whose 3rd wife was found dead in a bath tub, is giving love another chance. He's getting hitched again, and his bride to be is all of 23 years old.
Ya know... every time I watch a horror movie, I aways find it hard to believe that anyone could be dumb enough to stick around in a house that has some dude killing people in it. Well, I guess these idiots really do exist. I'm sure if you asked her, she'd say, "You guys don't know him like I do... he's really sweet... and we watch CSI together. It's like his favorite show."
Technically Drew is still not divorced from his missing 4th wife, but she is more than welcome to show up at the wedding during the "if anyone objects" part.
The worst part about shopping on Black Friday is the parking. But I figured out a little trick to get around that.
When I drive to the mall, instead of wasting my time looking for a parking spot, I drive right up to the mall entrance, and when I see people comming out with a ton of gifts I say, "Hey!!! Would you like a ride to your car?"
Pretty smart, eh? Then they put their gifts in my car, and I drive off without them. Shopping done.
Have you guys seen this clip? It's from the last episode of "LateNet with Ray Ellin," where Ray's guest is Hank Azaria, who does many of the Simpsons voices. I love Hank.. he's very talented. In this clip he talks about George Takei creeping out an intern from the show.
On Tuesday, the Howard Stern show (with guest George Takei) played the clip and unjustly called Hank an a-hole for saying George was creepy... uh, I hate to break it to them... but *ANY* regular guest on the Stern show is creepy! That's part of their charm.
According to a new study, US 4th and 8th grade students have made significant improvements in math as compared to recent years. The study then goes on to say that we're still not doing as well as the Asians. But I would like to point out that we're more fun than the Asians, so who would you rather hang out with? Oh... wait... they had the Olympics this year.... OK... except for this year.. who would you rather hang out with?
I used to be really good at math, but now that I'm not in school I suck. The other day someone asked me what 16 + 7 was, and I said "hmm, it's at least 20"
I bought the DVD box set of Back To The Future, and on the box it said "10 Hours of Bonus Features". I thought to myself, "What kind of a loser is going to watch 10 hours of bonus features?" Then I woke up sick today.
Did you know that they started filming the first one with Eric Stoltz instead of Michael J. Fox? Did you know that some people thought those hover boards were real, but thought Mattel wasn't making them because of child safety laws! So lots of parents wrote Mattel and said they didn't care about their child's safety, just make the boards so they can get their kids to shut up.
RIVIERA BEACH, Fla. - A 74 year old man who was shot in the head with a stray bullet still showed up to work with the bullet still lodged in his skull. E.T. Strickland is his name, and commercial real estate is his game. The bullet hit him Tuesday night during an attempted robbery outside of a Walgreen's. He says it hurts, but not enough to keep him from his job. Meanwhile, I have the sniffles, and am writing jokes from my couch today.
New airport body scanners at LAX can see if you are concealing a knife, gun, or fake boobs. For example, this woman has a tail, and will not be allowed to fly.
Early Saturday MORNING, a 24 year old mother was stopped for speeding and found to be drunk. She had her one year old in the car with her, so police called relatives to come pick the kid up. Later that AFTERNOON comes the boy's father... problem was.... he was drunk. So police called in the grandparents, and guess what folks... they were drunk too.. but luckily the grandma was still under the legal limit and deemed tipsy but safe, so the police escorted them home, and they lived happily ever after. You can always count on grandma to be the responsible one.
I fell asleep last night during a "G-String Divas" marathon on HBO. I started having a very nice dream, which turned into a nightmare and I woke up in a cold sweat... feeling very uncomfortable and unsure of my own sexuality.
What I want to know is... who's the jackass at programming over there that puts "Brokeback Mountain" on after a "G-String Divas" marathon at 1am?
According to a survey sponsored by computer chip giant Intel, about 50% of women ages 18-44 would prefer to go without sex for two weeks than without internet. And I would have to agree, because you can still see porn on the internet, but I cant check my email in your va-jay-jay.
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