Professor Gates! Please read my story and help! I'm a victim too!

I came home the other day and discovered I was locked out. So me and my Russian limo driver kicked the door in, and then a so called neighbor, who was clearly racist, called the cops on me because I’m Mexican.

When a Chinese police officer showed up outside my house and asked if I could come outside to talk with him I said, “NO I will not!! I'll talk to your mommi outside!”

I demanded to know who he was and he said he’s a sergeant or something investigating a break in and I said, “Why?!?! Cause I’m a Mexican Man in America?!!” 

He asked if I was alone, I told him “None of your Business, you racist cop! You don’t know who you’re messing with! I have a Masters Degree in Computer Science and I can make it so none of the Chinese food places in town can take orders over the internet!!! Don’t mess with me!” 

He kept going on and on about how he was just trying to investigate a possible break in, and just wanted to see my ID, so I threw my library card at him.  He stood there in shock, and I said “What?!!  Surprised to find out a Mexican man reads books, you racist pig!!!” and then I said, “You're racist because you see a nice house with a plasma TV and a PlayStation 3 and assume that a Mexican man cant possibly live here!!!” 

Then I called everyone I know to stand out there and watch as I walked outside my house and made a fool of this idiot with some of my other assumptions.  Anyway, cut to scene two, I got arrested because I’m Mexican.

Professor Gates, do you think you could help?  I tried emailing President Obama to see if he could do something, but he hasn’t gotten back to me.  I also emailed Batman, the incredible Hulk, the Green Lantern, and Spider-Man… all of which just sent back the standard fan club welcome letter which makes me think they haven’t really read my message at all!!! Is there no Justice in America!!!

RE: Gates' Police Report

via People.com 

Drew Peterson, an innocent until proven guilty man, whose 4th wife disappeared, and whose 3rd wife was found dead in a bath tub, is giving love another chance.  He's getting hitched again, and his bride to be is all of 23 years old.

Ya know... every time I watch a horror movie, I aways find it hard to believe that anyone could be dumb enough to stick around in a house that has some dude killing people in it.  Well, I guess these idiots really do exist.  I'm sure if you asked her, she'd say, "You guys don't know him like I do... he's really sweet... and we watch CSI together.  It's like his favorite show."

Technically Drew is still not divorced from his missing 4th wife, but she is more than welcome to show up at the wedding during the "if anyone objects" part. 

This past Election Day, as usual, I didn’t vote. Voting isn’t a system that works.  The majority of people are idiots, and in voting, the majority of people are right.  Politicians learn early on that they have to lie, make false promises, and hide their real agendas to get the majority of voters, who don’t know what they are talking about, to vote them into office.  I don’t really blame them, as that is the position they are put in to succeed.  It just makes it impossible to tell who’s corrupt, and who’s trying to help.  They all have to lie to some extent.  If the good one’s don’t lie, they’ll lose to the bad one’s who do because people are voting based on campaign promises that sound good.  If a politician stood there and was realistic with everyone about what they think could be done, he wouldn’t sound very exciting. When have we had a candidate that came anywhere close to delivering what they promised in their campaign?  Has that ever happened? Take Obama for example, the whole time he was campaigning, he didn’t even know the details of the job he was applying for.  They don’t give you the top secret briefing till after you are elected.

“Oh, remember all those things you promised in your campaign…. Well, there are a few things we should probably fill you in on.  Number 1, we’re dead broke.  Our credit score is horrible, and we’re not even getting low interest balance transfer offers from France anymore.  Oh, and we haven’t been getting a lot done lately cause everyone’s out sick with some weird flu”

If a corporation was run by a president that was elected by all it’s employee’s, that corporation would go out of business. Employees don’t know company secrets or what it takes to make the real money.  The majority of people walking into a voting both simply don’t know what they are talking about.  I myself am no political genius and by my own guidelines am not qualified to vote.  Voting is a nice fairytale, and at the same time, I don’t have a better solution to offer.  I do think and hope that we have enough checks and balances to keep us out of any real disasters, but I’m starting to have my doubts.

Acording to several autism experts, John Travolta's son, Jett, had autism.  However their religion, Scientology, doesn't believe in any sort of mental disorders.  And that's how you think when you belong to a retarded religion.

Remember Vanessa Hudgens' nude photo scandal?  Back in September Disney had to fire her from High School Musical over those pics.  In her place they hired Adrienne Bailon who, I'm sure, assured them nothing crazy like that would happen with her. Well, apparently she left her laptop in the airport, and guess what was on it? Yup! Nude pics. 

First let me say that the girls that were into theater at my High School were nothing like this. 

Second, this whole nude-pic-leaking-on-the-internet thing that seems to keep happening really bothers me.  Is there no safe place to keep your nudies?  You could lock them up in a drawer I guess... but what good is that... you gonna tell a girl in the club that she has to wait till she gets to your place to see your nudy pics!?  I mean that's ridiculous in this day and age.  I live in freaking New Jersey, and if I meet a girl in an NYC club, the only way I'm getting her to come to Jersey is to show the goods up front.