I bought the DVD box set of Back To The Future, and on the box it said "10 Hours of Bonus Features".  I thought to myself, "What kind of a loser is going to watch 10 hours of bonus features?" Then I woke up sick today. 

Did you know that they started filming the first one with Eric Stoltz instead of Michael J. Fox? Did you know that some people thought those hover boards were real, but thought Mattel wasn't making them because of child safety laws! So lots of parents wrote Mattel and said they didn't care about their child's safety, just make the boards so they can get their kids to shut up. 

Once in a while I'll meet a girl that thinks I'm superficial, and I have to explain to her that I'm not superficial at all... the reason I cant date you is because other people are superficial... and so I cant be seen with you. 

The police were responding to a break-in in progress, and when they ask this so called racism expert for ID, he gives them a hard time and calls it racism.   So let me get this straight.  You want the police to treat an unidentified break-in suspect with respect and courtesy... Yeah.. that’s gonna work real well.

“Excuse me, we don’t mean to intrude, but we see the door is broken in… do you live here? Oh you do… ok… have good night”

First of all, let’s consider that most break-ins reported are real and dangerous.  I’m gonna estimate that at least 9 out of 10 times, the guy breaking into your place isn’t you.

On top of that, this isn’t the first break-in at the Professor’s home.  I think it’s hysterical when people say, “If he was white, this wouldn’t have happened that way”

Well, I’m white (sort of) and if the police thought my apartment was being broken into, I would obey all their commands, gladly show them my ID, and thank them for coming.  So it would have gone differently for me… not because of my color… but because I’m not an idiot.  If police ask you for your ID and you put up a fight and call them names, don’t expect to be treated with honor.

One last thing, Don’t apply to Harvard.  They let anybody teach there.

Oh and PS: Me calling him an idiot isn’t racism. Idiots come in all colors.  I have a white one that lives in my building.

Read the Police Report 

People think pot smokers just want to sit on the couch all day and smoke... as if we dont want to go outside or something...

ok look YOU WONT LET US SMOKE OUTSIDE!....  You dont think we want to smoke outside?  I could get sooo much more done if I could smoke outside... it just eats me up to think about it.  People say pot's a depressant... NO... what's depressing is you wont let us smoke outside. 

I dont understand this driving while using your cell phone law.  In jersey you have to wear a headset to talk in the car, but that's almost wrecked my car TWICE! Here I am flying down the highway... my phone goes off... and then I panic and my car's all over the road while I try to find where I put this stupid headset. Laws are stupid.

When I say to people that it's a little early to give Obama a Nobel Peace prize.  Some argue that he's done a lot more for peace in 8 months than Bush did in 8 years.

I would like to point out that George Bush should be in jail, and not simply overlooked for a peace prize.  Yes, Obama is a better president, but it's only been 8 months folks! I give him an incomplete.... I would give him "World Leader of the Month" for some months, but Nobel is jumping the gun.