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Elmo Nutcase
Elmo Nutcase
"Why me? Why is it always me?"

Sunnyvale, CA

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I'm a struggling comedian in the San Francisco Bay area.
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Elmo Nutcase
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 On the Bottom

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Mar 26, 2007
Category: Entertainment  

Why me? Why is it always me? I asked this girl if she’d go to bed with me. She said, "Sure, but I want you on the bottom and me on the top." I was overjoyed and trembling with excitement.
Later, I found out she was talking about her bunk beds.

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Elmo Nutcase
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 Hairpieces

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Apr 19, 2007
Category: Entertainment  

Men who have gone to "Hair Club for Men" have gained a youthful appearance and have increased confidence. However, "Hair Club for Men" warns that their product may not be suitable for the outdoors man!
Several men have been injured while sleeping when raccoons entered their tents and mated with their hairpieces!

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Elmo Nutcase
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 Mike Tyson

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Apr 19, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Mike Tyson
24 Jokes

After years of study, researchers at MIT have determined the difference between the Taco Bell Chihuahua and Mike Tyson!
If Mike Tyson starts humping your leg, you let him finish!

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Elmo Nutcase
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 Those Three Little Words

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Mar 26, 2007
Category: Entertainment  

I had sex last night and, if I do say so myself, I was fantastic! I did everything right, and I lasted a long time! Afterwards, my date whispered those three little words - you know...
"Fifty dollars please."

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Elmo Nutcase
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 DNA Discovery

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Mar 26, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

California
524 Jokes  18 Videos

There’s been a major scientific discovery! Researchers at the California Institute of Technology have combined the DNA of an female cannibal with that of a slut!
The result is the very last oral sex that you’ll ever get!

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Elmo Nutcase
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 Mexican Fortune Cookie

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Apr 19, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Mexico
213 Jokes  12 Videos

A new Hispanic restaurant has opened, and it’s a fantastic success among the Spanish-speaking community! The owners say that the success due to their "Mexican fortune cookie!"
It’s a folded tortilla with a green card inside!

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Elmo Nutcase
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 Space Shuttle

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Apr 19, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Space
277 Jokes  3 Videos

CNN has just made an important announcement! The space shuttle launch has been delayed!
The astronaut captain locked the keys in the shuttle!

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Elmo Nutcase
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 George W Bush Library

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Apr 19, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

George Bush
653 Jokes  17 Videos

George W Bush will have a presidential library after he leaves office. The library will have 20,000 volumes!
This is the largest collection of coloring books the world has ever known!

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Elmo Nutcase
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 Breast Painting

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Mar 26, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Washington
373 Jokes  7 Videos

A woman in the state of Washington makes artistic oil paintings with her breasts. In a related story, Phyllis Diller has been bragging in interviews that she also paints with her breasts and she is the highest paid "breast painter" in the U.S.
She paints the double center lines on highways.

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Elmo Nutcase
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 Roadkill

By: Elmo Nutcase (C)
Submitted: Mar 26, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Nashville
13 Jokes

Tennessee has passed a roadkill law that makes it legal for drivers to eat anything that they run over. But those rednecks have gone too far! Too god damn far!
A Chinese restaurant in Nashville, in addition to offering "moo goo gai pan," is now offering "moo goo gai arf-arf."

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