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Greg Contreras
Greg Contreras
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Biography
Greg Banks is loved by old, white, tea-baggers everywhere.

e-mail him at banks.greg@gmail.com.

Octavia Smith says:

I don't know why bush hates puppies, because hes fucking one every night.His wife or should i say a Chihuahua.
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Joke List: Most Comments (From All Time)

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Greg Contreras
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Hillary in Parallel (Universe) to JFK

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Mar 12, 2007
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Hillary Clinton

252 Jokes  11 Videos

Hillary in Parallel (Universe) to JFKIn an effort to blunt the hysteria over Barak Obama, who many have likened to John F. Kennedy because of Obama’s charisma, Hillary attempted to claim JFK as her own.

Appearing in Nashua, NH, candidate Clinton said she is like JFK because she is shrill, vindictive and divisive, which in a parallel universe, is just like JFK.

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Greg Contreras
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Scientists produce embryo clones of 2 men

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Jan 17, 2008
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Dating

571 Jokes  37 Videos

Scientists produce embryo clones of 2 menThe clone is groundbreaking because it creates the first same-sex, same-person relationship.

Let's see the Supreme Court work that out.

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Greg Contreras
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Rambo at 62

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Jan 14, 2008
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Florida

330 Jokes  2 Videos

Rambo at 62Being John Rambo at 62 has certain pluses and minuses:

1) The only thing stiff in the morning are your knees.

2) The bad guys can't sneak up on you: you pee 6 times a night.

3) Your camp is littered with Icy Hot patches.

4) You fall asleep while firing your M-60.

5) You haven't had a good crap since the mid-90s.

6) You're easier to track, they follow the scent of menthol (see #3).

7) Your sciatica means the hot Asian chick gives you a back rub instead of a front rub.

8) Medicaid hasn't kicked in yet.

9) Rambo V to be filmed in The Villages, FL.

10) Senior discounts at the Gun Shack.

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Greg Contreras
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Archbishop Dismisses Christmas Story as Legend

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Dec 20, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Christmas

198 Jokes  13 Videos

Archbishop Dismisses Christmas Story as LegendThe Archbishop of Canterbury said yesterday that the Christmas story of the Three Wise Men was nothing but a 'legend'.

The Archbishop concluded his remarks by saying: "Merry F***ing Christmas" and "ho-f***ing-ho."

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Greg Contreras
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Hillary Clinton Begins Her Charm Offensive

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Dec 17, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Hillary Clinton

252 Jokes  11 Videos

Hillary Clinton Begins Her Charm OffensiveThings could get ugly.

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Greg Contreras
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Surfer Proposes a "Theory of Everything"

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Weed

221 Jokes  15 Videos

Surfer Proposes a Garret Lisi, a surfer and snowboarder who divides his time between Hawaii and Lake Tahoe, NV, has purportedly done what even eluded Einstein, postulated an overarching explanation of all particles and forces of the cosmos. Lee Smolin, a Canadian physicist has called it the most compelling unification models he’s seen in years.

This may be the first time a surfer proposed a "theory of everything" that didn't include a bong and flip-flops, Dr. Smolin said.

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Greg Contreras
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Thanksgiving: Another Reason to Hate America

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Nov 16, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Thanksgiving

49 Jokes  1 Videos

Thanksgiving: Another Reason to Hate AmericaA letter from the Seattle School District tells teachers to remind students not to be too happy this Thanksgiving, because the holiday is seen as a "time of mourning" by many Native Americans (and European Socialists).

"After all, we don’t want them to end up like flag-waving patriots," the Superintendent said, "kids need to know that there are so many reasons to hate who you are."

Seattle Friends of Dennis Kucinich were delighted.

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Head Grows as Glaciers Shrink

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Oct 12, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Nobel Peace Prize

39 Jokes  1 Videos

Head Grows as Glaciers ShrinkOSLO (Reuters) - Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore and the U.N. climate panel won the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for their part in galvanizing international action against global warming before it "moves beyond man's control".

Asked about the honor, his wife Tipper said: “if only the size of his head were within man's control we’d be getting somewhere.”

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Airforce Helps in Katrina Recovery

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Sep 6, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Cop

1357 Jokes  15 Videos

Airforce Helps in Katrina RecoveryA B-52 bomber was "mistakenly" loaded with five nuclear warheads and flown to Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana.

The "missing" nukes resulted in an Air Force-wide investigation, according to several officers who asked not to be identified because they were not authorized to discuss the incident.

They added: "we think they represent Bush's 'final solution' for Katrina reconstruction, but we can't be certain."

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Senator to Resign at Historic “Boise Depot”

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Sep 1, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Larry Craig

36 Jokes  2 Videos

Senator to Resign at Historic “Boise Depot”The Depot grounds include the lovely Platt Gardens, featuring graceful pathways, a gazebo and koi pond, and a panoramic view of the Boise Front (a large undeveloped area just north of town).

“it’s a magical place really," the Senator said, "perfect for a day out with the family or for the kind of multiple, anonymous homosexual encounters of which I am so fond.”

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