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Greg Contreras
"Does this profile make me look fat?"
New York, NY
      
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Greg Banks is loved by old, white, tea-baggers everywhere.
e-mail him at banks.greg@gmail.com.
Octavia Smith says:
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I don't know why bush hates puppies, because hes fucking one every night.His wife or should i say a Chihuahua.
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 OSLO (Reuters) - Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore and the U.N. climate panel won the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for their part in galvanizing international action against global warming before it "moves beyond man's control".
Asked about the honor, his wife Tipper said: “if only the size of his head were within man's control we’d be getting somewhere.”
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 In an effort to blunt the hysteria over Barak Obama, who many have likened to John F. Kennedy because of Obama’s charisma, Hillary attempted to claim JFK as her own.
Appearing in Nashua, NH, candidate Clinton said she is like JFK because she is shrill, vindictive and divisive, which in a parallel universe, is just like JFK.
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 A letter from the Seattle School District tells teachers to remind students not to be too happy this Thanksgiving, because the holiday is seen as a "time of mourning" by many Native Americans (and European Socialists).
"After all, we don’t want them to end up like flag-waving patriots," the Superintendent said, "kids need to know that there are so many reasons to hate who you are."
Seattle Friends of Dennis Kucinich were delighted.
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 Being John Rambo at 62 has certain pluses and minuses:
1) The only thing stiff in the morning are your knees.
2) The bad guys can't sneak up on you: you pee 6 times a night.
3) Your camp is littered with Icy Hot patches.
4) You fall asleep while firing your M-60.
5) You haven't had a good crap since the mid-90s.
6) You're easier to track, they follow the scent of menthol (see #3).
7) Your sciatica means the hot Asian chick gives you a back rub instead of a front rub.
8) Medicaid hasn't kicked in yet.
9) Rambo V to be filmed in The Villages, FL.
10) Senior discounts at the Gun Shack.
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 The Archbishop of Canterbury said yesterday that the Christmas story of the Three Wise Men was nothing but a 'legend'.
The Archbishop concluded his remarks by saying: "Merry F***ing Christmas" and "ho-f***ing-ho."
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 The Depot grounds include the lovely Platt Gardens, featuring graceful pathways, a gazebo and koi pond, and a panoramic view of the Boise Front (a large undeveloped area just north of town).
“it’s a magical place really," the Senator said, "perfect for a day out with the family or for the kind of multiple, anonymous homosexual encounters of which I am so fond.”
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 SAND LAKE, Mich. (AP) - About 15 million gallons of partially treated sewage water disappeared from a 250,000 square-foot storage lagoon into a sinkhole in Kent County...
Coincidently, the effluent surfaced in Cook County ballot boxes where votes had frequently disappeared.
Now we know where they go, said an official.
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 Idaho Senator Larry Craig will announce his resignation this morning from the Boise Depot, the city's historic, iconic (and phallic!) train depot.
The 10:30am press conference will be held in the men's rest room, or did you guess?
Which begs the question, Senator, have you no sense of irony, at long last?
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 MIAMI (Reuters) - An Afghan detainee has died from cancer at the prison camp at the U.S. naval base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, authorities said on Sunday.
Abdul Razzak, 68, who was undergoing chemotherapy treatment for colorectal cancer, was pronounced dead by a doctor at the base on Sunday morning, the U.S. military said in a statement.
Which gives real meaning to the term, habeaus corpus
An unidentified colonel was quoted as saying said, "one down, 290 to go."
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The clone is groundbreaking because it creates the first same-sex, same-person relationship. 
