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I'm a stand-up comic based in NYC, but I perform all over the country and military bases around the world.
Contributing writer for Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update, National Lampoon's Sports Minute Or So and The Complete Sheet.
Seen on The Late Show with David Letterman, CNN Headline News, VH-1 and Country Music TV.
Heard on the nationally-syndicated Bob and Tom Show, the John Boy and Billy Show, as well as XM and Sirius Satellite Radio.
Big fan of the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores.

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Beth Schumann says:

See you at the Boston Comedy Festival! I'm looking forward to meeting you. Your stuff cracks me up!

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472 Jokes  

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Boy George charged By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: Nov 19, 2007 Category: Entertainment

From Hot Topic Boy George 19 Jokes

A man in Britain is accusing Boy George of false imprisonment. The court immediately ruled that although we’d all like it to be otherwise, getting Karma Chameleon stuck in your head for three days does not constitute false imprisonment. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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David Carradine Dies By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: Jun 5, 2009 Category: Entertainment

From Hot Topic David Carradine 14 Jokes  1 Videos

Friends of David Carradine said he was just fine before going to Bangkok.  Coincidentally . . . friends of that Sham Wow guy said the same thing, only they weren't talking about Thailand. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Rare Dolphin Killed By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: Jan 31, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Clay Aiken 27 Jokes

Two Bangladeshi fishermen raised controversy after they beat a rare dolphin to death. They claimed they did it in shock because they had never seen something like it before. Using the same excuse, Clay Aiken then punched a vagina. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Beatles in Space By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: Feb 4, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Beatles 58 Jokes

NASA will blast the Beatles song "Across the Universe" towards the North Star in hopes of communicating with other life. The star is over 400 light years away, which means it would be at least 800 years before we'll hear any reply. But when they do, Larry King will interview them. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Pope Text By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: May 7, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Pope 112 Jokes  1 Videos

The Pope will send text messages to thousands of young Catholics on National Youth Day. The message: Turn your phone off during Mass, you jackhole! Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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What the Frick? By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: Mar 7, 2008 Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Pakistan 49 Jokes

South Pasadena has declared the first week of March a cuss-free week. To avoid cursing, residents are encouraged to watch the Disney channel, stay away from alcohol, and not think about their daughter's Pakistani boyfriend. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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McCain and Obama at Baskin Robbins By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: Sep 15, 2008 Category: Political  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Ice Cream 47 Jokes  1 Videos

Baskin-Robbins has introduced political ice cream flavors, with the Obama flavor being "Whirl of Change" and the McCain flavor called "Straight Talk Crunch".  Orders for third-party flavors will also be taken, and then thrown away.  Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Sibling Painful Love By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: May 16, 2008 Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Kentucky 60 Jokes

A girl in Greece who suffered from stomach pains was found to be carrying her embryonic twin. When it was discovered that her sibling was inside her, doctors almost instinctively outcast her to Kentucky. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Holy Book Club By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: Apr 10, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Religion 1037 Jokes  30 Videos

A poll shows that the Bible is America's favorite book. When asked why it wasn't on her book club list, Oprah replied, "I didn't think it was appropriate to include my biography." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Perfect Attendance Award By: Keith Alberstadt (C) Submitted: May 28, 2008 Category: News

From Hot Topic Michigan 183 Jokes

A girl's father in Michigan bought her a new car for her perfect attendance in school. But to punish her for failing economics, he's making her pay for gas. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it: