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Mark Jabo
Mark Jabo




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I am a stand-up comic, sit-down writer and semi-reclining producer. I split my time between New York, Maryland and Florida. Recently co-authored a book, "The Sky is Falling! A Global Warming Survival Guide."Time Magazine's Person of the Year, 2006\Find me doing something at:www.comedyblockparty.comwww.markjabo.comwww.getmehot.blogspot.comwww.pointsincase.com/writers/mark_jabo.htm\\\
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Mark Jabo
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Sealing the Deal

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 14, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

San Francisco

78 Jokes  2 Videos

 



New study reports "male seals are reaping the benefits of climate change by having more sex."






Scientists also noted a 67% increase in headaches among female seals and a growing sense of exasperation in dealing with more frequent requests to "do that thing where you balance my balls on your nose."

In other news...
Facing falling domestic sales, Hummer announced plans to target new markets.  The company will position the H2 as a "mammal magnet" and will be making automatic transmission standard on its new 2007 models.

At Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, a female seal recently filed a complaint against members of the visiting Duke lacrosse team.


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Here's A Tip

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 13, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Religion

1037 Jokes  30 Videos



Manifesto Games has come out with what is believed to be the first video game to feature a rabbi as the main character. 





A number of accidents have already been reported as a result of players attempting to use the new Sony Wii controller for circumcisions.




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Snap Back to Reality...

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 13, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!

 













Long awaited sequel to 8 Mile arrives just in time for holidays.


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One More Cup of Kofi Before I Go

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 12, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!


Kofi Annan (shown at left with U.N. peacekeeping force) gave his last official speech before stepping down as Secretary General.

In commenting on his tenure Annan stated the five principles he considers essential: collective responsibility, global solidarity, rule of law, mutual accountability and substantial under the table payments to close friends and relatives.

The outgoing Secretary General said he looks forward to spending time with his family and plans to continue to be ineffectual and irrelevant.


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Mark Jabo
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Deal or Shady Deal

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 12, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Tom Delay

7 Jokes  1 Videos

 

Former House Majority leader Tom DeLay, who resigned amid indictments of money laundering and ethics violations, has started his own blog and a new conservative action group called the Grassroots Action and Information Network (GAIN).

The new group was formed after DeLay could not think up a name that fit the acronym PERSONAL GAIN.



One day after launching the new website, DeLay said he’s had 100 people pay the $52 per year to join the Grassroots Action and Information Network.

The group's first order of business will be to declare P.T. Barnum's birthday a national holiday.




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Princess and the Pea Brain

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 12, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Anna Nicole Smith

57 Jokes  1 Videos

Reports have surfaced that American intelligence agencies were bugging Princess Diana's telephone over her relationship with a U.S. billionaire.

A spokesperson for the CIA defended the practice and indicated that the agency still has over 400 hours of Anna Nicole Smith tapes waiting to be translated into English.


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You Are Now Free To Worship About The Country

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 12, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Seattle

52 Jokes  1 Videos

Christmas trees will be going back up at Seattle's airport in a compromise reached with other religious groups. 

The airport will also feature a menorah and, bowing to pressure from Aztecs, there will be an hourly human sacrifice in the Club Class lounge.   


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Product Placement

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 11, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Taco Bell

57 Jokes  1 Videos

Although it debuted as the nation's top movie, Mel Gibson's Apocalypto was criticized in some quarters for scenes of overly-graphic violence and carnage.

Marketing executives were quick to respond, saying this scene does not reflect the experience of the average Taco Bell customer.


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Sock Her Riot

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 11, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Brazil

31 Jokes

The semi-final match in Brazilian women's handball had to be cancelled when a brawl broke out and the competitors threw punches and pulled out clumps of each other's hair.  Officials were concerned that the match would reflect poorly on the country's sportsmanship and waxing procedures.

Police are still looking for three men with video cameras who reportedly triggered the stadium's sprinkler system when the fight broke out.

The match was scheduled to be shown on ESPN-Deportes and Marriot Hotel's adult pay-per-view channel.

As news of the melee spread, tournament matches quickly sold out through 2025.

In a feel-good twist to the story (as if "Brazilian women's handball" wasn't enough), six of the eight women involved in the scuffle have been offered a contract by Vince McMahon's WWE.

Coming soon: Brazilian Women's Handball T-Shirt slogan contest.


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Aieeeeee. Dud.

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 11, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Ashlee Simpson

9 Jokes

Tenor Roberto Alagna wallked off the stage at the famous La Scala opera house after the audience booed him following the opening aria of Aida.

Alagna left immediately for New York where he'll be filming an upcoming duet with Ashlee Simpson on Saturday Night Live.

While in New York, the tenor will look to improve his tarnished image by getting a new nose and boob job. 

Alagna will perform with Kevin Federline, the Dixie Chicks and M.C. Hammer at this year's Super Bowl halftime show.


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