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I am a stand-up comic, sit-down writer and semi-reclining producer. I split my time between New York, Maryland and Florida. Recently co-authored a book, "The Sky is Falling! A Global Warming Survival Guide."Time Magazine's Person of the Year, 2006\Find me doing something at:www.comedyblockparty.comwww.markjabo.comwww.getmehot.blogspot.comwww.pointsincase.com/writers/mark_jabo.htm\\\
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Among the many changes instituted by the new Democrat majority in Congress is how they refer to new Senators. Party leaders say they will no longer use the "derogatory" term "freshman" to describe first-term Senators. Instead, in an effort to be more politically correct, newly-elected officials will henceforth be referred to as "not yet corrupt."
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Erik Estrada, LaToya Jackson and Ozzie Osbourne's son, Jack have been sworn in as reserve officers of the Muncie, Indiana police department, allowing them to carry badges and guns as part of a new reality television series, Armed and Famous. Network executives settled on the show's title after rejecting the more cumbersome, Armed and Looks Vaguely Familiar. The show is already mired in controversy as the Muncie Police Department faces a copyright infringement lawsuit from the producers of Reno 911. In New York City, Port Authority officials scrambled to add more buses on the New York-to-Muncie route to accommodate the needs of parolees, career criminals and civil attorneys.*
Plans are already in the works for a spin-off show in which high school students are given guns and a license to hunt down D-list celebrities to fulfill their school's community service requirement.
*Categories not mutually exclusive
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According to his lawyer, Saddam Hussein said he had doubled the workout on his treadmill to be in good shape before he was hanged.
A spokesman for Bally's Total Fitness in downtown Baghdad said the company would not refund the balance of Hussein's membership since it had a signed contract.
Separately, the FDA is investigating exaggerated weight-loss claims that the Bush Administration may have used in promoting their WMD Diet Plan.
"I Lost 215 Pounds in One Day!"*
-G.W. Bush, Washington, D.C.
* Results not typical. Individual results may vary. As always, you should consult a doctor before picking a fight with one of the world's superpowers.
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New governor Eliot Spitzer used his inaugural address to send a message that he is serious about reform and declared, "Day One is now."
Spitzer will use all his fingers and toes to count the days in his first three weeks in office and plans to take off his pants when the count gets to "Day 21."
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