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Mark Jabo
Mark Jabo




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I am a stand-up comic, sit-down writer and semi-reclining producer. I split my time between New York, Maryland and Florida. Recently co-authored a book, "The Sky is Falling! A Global Warming Survival Guide."Time Magazine's Person of the Year, 2006\Find me doing something at:www.comedyblockparty.comwww.markjabo.comwww.getmehot.blogspot.comwww.pointsincase.com/writers/mark_jabo.htm\\\
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Joke List: Most Comments (From All Time)

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Mark Jabo
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P.C., Richer

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Jan 25, 2007
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Congress

246 Jokes  2 Videos











Among the many changes instituted by the new Democrat majority in Congress is how they refer to new Senators.  Party leaders say they will no longer use the "derogatory" term "freshman" to describe first-term Senators.

Instead, in an effort to be more politically correct, newly-elected officials will henceforth be referred to as "not yet corrupt."

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All Washed Up

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Jan 16, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Oscar

62 Jokes

 




The makers of Dove Soap have announced a contest in which users are asked to create and submit ads for the new Dove Cream Oil Body Wash due to hit stores next month.

Winners will have their commercials shown during the Academy Awards.  Winners will also be expected to do the taxes and pay for groceries for the company's marketing employees.



Unilever takes top position in soap market when they realize bigger people use more soap



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Indiana Wants Me

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 7, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Latoya Jackson

7 Jokes


Erik Estrada, LaToya Jackson and Ozzie Osbourne's son, Jack have been sworn in as reserve officers of the Muncie, Indiana police department, allowing them to carry badges and guns as part of a new reality television series, Armed and Famous.

Network executives settled on the show's title after rejecting the more cumbersome, Armed and Looks Vaguely Familiar.

The show is already mired in controversy as the Muncie Police Department faces a copyright infringement lawsuit from the producers of Reno 911.

In New York City, Port Authority officials scrambled to add more buses on the New York-to-Muncie route to accommodate the needs of parolees, career criminals and civil attorneys.*

Plans are already in the works for a spin-off show in which high school students are given guns and a license to hunt down D-list celebrities to fulfill their school's community service requirement.

   



*Categories not mutually exclusive


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Lax Standards

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Jan 12, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

60 Minutes

16 Jokes  2 Videos
















The forensic expert hired by the prosecutor in the Duke rape case tells 60 Minutes he made a "big error" in judgment by not including evidence that the only DNA he found on the accuser was from several men who were not on the Duke lacrosse team.

Dr. Brian Meehan went on to say he still hopes his part in the made-for-TV movie will be played by Ernest Borgnine.



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Kidd Gloves Are Off

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Jan 10, 2007
Category: Sports  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Basketball

780 Jokes  4 Videos

 



Basketball star Jason Kidd filed for divorce from his wife of 13 years claiming she abused him.

Also named in the suit: every other point guard in the NBA.






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Feel the Burn

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Jan 9, 2007
Category: Blogs  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Saddam Hussein

42 Jokes




According to his lawyer, Saddam Hussein said he had doubled the workout on his treadmill to be in good shape before he was hanged.

A spokesman for Bally's Total Fitness in downtown Baghdad said the company would not refund the balance of Hussein's membership since it had a signed contract. 







Separately, the FDA is investigating exaggerated weight-loss claims that the Bush Administration may have used in promoting their WMD Diet Plan.







"I Lost 215 Pounds in One Day!"

-G.W. Bush, Washington, D.C.



* Results not typical.  Individual results may vary.  As always, you should consult a doctor before picking a fight with one of the world's superpowers.


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You Can Count On Me

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Jan 2, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Eliot Spitzer

50 Jokes  1 Videos

 










New governor Eliot Spitzer used his inaugural address to send a message that he is serious about reform and declared, "Day One is now."

Spitzer will use all his fingers and toes to count the days in his first three weeks in office and plans to take off his pants when the count gets to "Day 21." 


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Sealing the Deal

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 14, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

San Francisco

78 Jokes  2 Videos

 



New study reports "male seals are reaping the benefits of climate change by having more sex."






Scientists also noted a 67% increase in headaches among female seals and a growing sense of exasperation in dealing with more frequent requests to "do that thing where you balance my balls on your nose."

In other news...
Facing falling domestic sales, Hummer announced plans to target new markets.  The company will position the H2 as a "mammal magnet" and will be making automatic transmission standard on its new 2007 models.

At Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, a female seal recently filed a complaint against members of the visiting Duke lacrosse team.


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Dances With Tourists

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 7, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Florida

330 Jokes  2 Videos

 


Rank Group, PLC announced it will sell the Hard Rock Cafe chain to the Seminole tribe of Florida for E$725 million (US$965 million, BeaverPelt2.7 trillion).

Collectors are already lining up to order the latest T-shirt: Hard Rock Cafe - Little Big Horn

The new owners are expected to add some new menu items while still keeping the chain restaurant feel.  New menu items include Cherry-kee Cheesecake, Last of the Mochaccinos and Custard's Last Flan.


The tribe doesn't plan any major changes to the restaurants but has said they will no longer accept walk-in business.  You need to have a reservation.


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Ho v. Wade

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 6, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Paris Hilton

250 Jokes  10 Videos




Paris Hilton says she wants to have lots of kids in the near future and feels qualified because of her experience with animals.

"It’s been my dream to have four babies by 30.  I look after animals, so I'd have a lot to give my kids," said the air-headed heiress.






Rumor is Paris may already be pregnant since she was recently seen shopping for baby clothes at Petco.

The celebutard's announcement was expected to rekindle the abortion debate as even South Dakota Republicans were quoted as saying, "You know, I think we can make an exception in this case."

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