TV Pitchman Billy Mays was found dead in his home Sunday morning.  Cause of death is still unknown.  However, Billy was on a flight that had a hard landing and hit his head very hard.  Billy also complained about not feeling well before going to bed to his wife. 

Devasted the Sham Wow guy was quoted as saying "I guess the German's didn't make that plane because you know they make good stuff." 

Marc Anthony, Jennifer Lopez's husband has become a minority owner in the Miami Dolphins.  This move was apparently done to increase ticket sales to Miami's Hispanic population.

In related moves, the San Francisco 49ers sold a piece of the team to Clay Aiken and the Dallas Cowboys started "Bring your favorite Mexican to a game" day.  Comedian George Lopez couldn't be reached for comment. 

I am not sure if I have cared less about two people in the world.  These two pump out 6 kids at one time, alienate the 2 they already had, get a TV show, then proceed to sleep around on eachother like rabbits. 

On top of that there are living humans who actually spend time talking about these two morons as if their lives are heaven.  If they are on Good Morning America one more time I'm flying to NY and slapping someone with a tire iron.  He's got a head like an alien and she has that hair style that always makes it look like she's lying flat on her back.  Which, apparently she always is. 

I can not wait for their 15 minutes of fame to come to an end in a fireball of hatred.  Then, they'll be back on Celebrity Rehab or Celebrity Fights within the decade.  I'm sure their children will end up completely normal.  I'm sure none of them will end up on Sunset Blvd selling themselves or crack.  Good luck wackos! 

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of raping a woman "last summer" in a Harrah's Casino in Lake Tahoe.  If he did this it's a horrible act that can not be excused.  However, I am leaning towards him not returning any of her phone calls, emails, texts or tweets since last summer and now she's pissed.   

Recently my girlfriend's son lost his phone charger.  So, she got inthe car and went out in search of a new charger to fit his phone.  Most chargers were around $19 to $26 and we were unable to find one that definately fit his phone model.  Then she hopped on the internet to find the one we needed and find the cheapest.  Three or four minutes later she found the charger we needed for $4.99 plus $2.99 for shipping and handling.  Obviously she's very excited she found it and it is very cheap, so she orders it.  Today, the charger is delivered to the house.  It came from Hong Kong.  Why am I telling you about this.  Think about this.  It cost $7.98 for a charger that travelled about 9000 miles which is less than half of what it would cost to run to Wal-Mart and get it.  I get the sense that in Hong Kong and China they make everything for about a penny.  Cell phone, one penny, radio, one penny, toaster oven, one penny, microwave, one penny, new car, one penny, having a charger delivered with all of the cool little Chinese symbols on the label.......priceless. 

We are the land of free, home of the brave and the market for the most incredible mark-up percentages in the entire world and Mars.  I'm moving to Hong Kong.  You can feed a family of 20 there for like, $3.95 total.  And, it's probably a buffet. 

Recently I represented a paper I draw cartoons for at the Buffalo Comicon.  Obviously out looking for exposure and finding new advertisers for the paper. 

This may suprise you but some comic book people are what you might call....strange.  A lot of comic book people are well over middle age and appear to still live with their parents.  Now, I met a bunch of cool artists that have it together and may even rent their own apartment.  But, the comic book fans.....uh, a little cuckoo.  I could only compare it to a minor league trekkie convention. 

If you read this and say that I am lying, but you are reading this in your mom's basement surrounded by boxes of DC and Marvel comic books and no girlfriend in your near future, maybe you should reevaluate things.  Get out.  Get some sun.  I am a big Spiderman and X-Men fan.  However, my real life is not associated with the characters ever.  It's called.....reality. 

Election Day has come and gone.  And look out, the Democrats have taken over.  Do you know what this really means?  The other half of corrupt human beings with a donkey logo are in charge instead of the elephant logoed corrupt party.  The next honest, god-fearing, by the people - for the people politician to come out will be the first.  The politicians that fit that mold are only on dollar bills and coins.

They are all going to waste your money, fly on your tax money and make sure the organizations that give them kickbacks continue to prosper.  We need to lose the party tag and find politicians who understand the real middle class.  Not the affluent middle class that they golf and mingle with.  So, make sure you get out there and vote and put your favorite politician in charge.  There are a lot of interns and tax payers that need them to get screwed over.  Sometimes literally.

A favorite pet-peeve of mine is the movie Pinnochio.  You all remember.  The movie about the old man building wooden dolls of boys and little girls.  Then, some fairy comes down and brings him to life.  And, instead of being freaked out by this, the old pervert embraces it and thinks it's ok to send him out into the real world.  "You must go to school".  Yeah, great idea, 11 minutes ago he was a mute wooden boy so you better get him out there to learn math and get his study on.  And, it's always a good idea to give a dude with one foot in the grave a kid.  The rest of the movie is full of bad kids, pinnochio smoking cigars, playing pool and then they turned little kids into donkeys.  Hello!  Am I the only one that sees a problem here.  When this first came out kids must have been mortified.  We try to keep our kids from saying bad words, seeing naked women and playing violent video games.  However, it is ok to send the message that if you're bad you'll turn into a donkey and have to work on mountain for the rest of your life.  Next time we'll talk about the huge lie that is, Santa Claus.

I love humans.  I am certainly not a a spokesman for PETA, but is it really necessary to snag the rare giant octopus.  As soon as there is something on this earth that we don't know everything about, we must find it, kill it, slice it open, see how it breeds, what it eats and count it's organs.  Its the real reason we send rovers to Mars.  Some NASA geek is hoping to god that there is life out there so they can catch it, disect it and see if it is edible and find out if it will cure a disease or two.