Political pundit Tucker Carlson recently went on CNN to comment on comedian Jon Stewart's blasting of CNBC, calling him a "partisan hack" and predicting that Stewart would become "so self-serious and sanctimonious that it's just a matter of time before he becomes unfunny."  

Tucker Carlson is of course the former co-host of the CNN program "Crossfire," which had Stewart as a guest back in 2004. During his segment, Stewart had chastised Tucker for his own contribution to political discourse in this country, and also called him, to paraphrase: "a dick in a bowtie."

And the award for Swiftest Comeback goes to...

The other night my girlfriend and I are watching Seinfeld, and the episode happens to be The Gymnast. Then comes that one line where the gymnast tells Jerry of what she'd heard about comedians and their supposed...legendary sexual prowess. Ultimately she tells Jerry: "You may tell jokes, Mr. Seinfeld, but you are no comedian."

I turn to my girlfriend: "So, uh...am I a comedian?"

Her response: "Honey, if you never told another joke in your life, you'd still be the greatest comedian I've ever known."

Ladies, I hope you were taking notes. Because that is how you get your man to take out the trash.