President Bush said Friday that the fight in Iraq has been longer and more costly than expected. Kinda like O.J. Simpsons' freedom.

 A jury convicted pop singer Boy George Friday of falsely imprisoning a male escort, by handcuffing the man to a wall hook for under an hour. Norwegian escort Audun Carlsen said he was never actually afraid of George, he was just extremely annoyed at his constant singing.

MONTPELIER, Vt. — Vermont's House of Representatives gave preliminary approval Thursday night to a historic same-sex marriage bill, sending a clear message to the entire state.

"If we can marry our sister, we can marry our brother!"

In order to help get the embattled U.S. auto industry back on track and oversee its progress, President Obama has elected not to appoint anyone to the position of "Car Czar". It's now called the "Chevy Heavy".

According to the USA Today, an increase in unemployment has prompted an increase in pregnancies nationwide. Apparently, women seem to want a lot more sex these days. These women do not live in my complex.

LONDON (AP) — A DNA test will be performed to determine if a 13-year-old boy fathered a baby with his 15-year-old girlfriend, his spokesman said Monday. Several other teenage boys have also come forward claiming to be the father of the newborn baby girl.

President Barack Obama, signaling early in his administration that religion belongs in the public discourse, has promised to open a big can of whoop-ass on anyone who disagrees with him.

 A new study published this week, states that Facebook use and lower grades in school are "likely unrelated". Of course ...

- With Instant Messaging, how could you fail a test?

- Unrelated ... like unemployment and pregnancy.

- They have an app that does homework for you.

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — San Francisco Giant Jonathan Sanchez pitched the first no-hitter of 2009 on friday night, beating the Allen High School Badgers 29-0.

 MIDVALE, Utah (AP) — The father of last year's American Idol runner-up David Archuleta has pleaded no contest to patronizing a prostitute in a Salt Lake City suburb. If the 47-year-old James Jeffrey Archuleta avoids repeating the crime by the end of this month, the charge will be removed from his record.