“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is now everywhere, leveling conservatives in a tornado of twisted logic. They say that the only way to stop corruption by fellow Republicans is to keep electing more Republicans. They say that the only way to stop activist judges is to elect more Republicans, who will then appoint activist judges. They say that the only way to win in Iraq is to retain the same people that got us into the disaster in Iraq. The conservatives who say that they are disgusted with the behavior of Republicans insist that America will go to the dogs unless they keep Republicans in power. The party that brought you Tom DeLay, Jack Abramoff, and other poster boys of political corruption insist that only they can stop political corruption. Now the “family values” party, while covering up the misdeeds of one of their own who did not practice family values, says that now that they have gotten rid of him, only they can go back to protecting family values. It reminds me of when I stopped smoking, and how food tasted so good that all I wanted to do was smoke. The Mark Foley scandal, already dubbed “Masturgate,” by someone after my own heart, has become a dizzying three-ring circus of blame. Everyone blamed Foley. Then Democrats blamed Republicans. Then Republicans blamed other Republicans, until they realized that this is an election year, so they blamed the media and Democrats. Meanwhile, the Extinguished Gentleman from Florida blames his alcoholism, as well as his alleged abuse by a clergyman, as the excuse for his Instant Message-aholism. I’m waiting for someone to blame Al Gore for creating the internet. These guys are riding on such an out of control moral merry-go-round it’s a wonder they don’t get flung into the bushes. But in this carnival of hypocrisy they have to blame someone, so the latest FOX News marching orders have been beamed out to the conservative Borg: blame the gays. Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council said, “When you put up tolerance and diversity, this is what you get.” We’re always a great punching bag. It’s our fault that the family is falling apart, that AIDS is everywhere, that teens are posting naked pictures of themselves on MySpace, that closeted gay politicians are hanging out in restrooms and seducing underlings, that the designers on “Project Runway” are bitchy. According to Falwell and Robertson, 9/11 was our fault too. Some even blame us for making Al Qaeda mad enough at loose American morals to keep those bombs and videos coming. Now it’s our fault that a horned up 52 year old closeted Republican can’t keep his kittens off the keys, and the secret cabal of gay Republicans who allegedly protected him. So let me get this straight - we previously had no clout whatsoever, but now we’re so powerful we can protect a congressman who sent IMs and emails worthy of Ron Jeremy at his most verbal to teen pageboys and who actually had cybersex during a house vote? Did Bruce and Lance of the House Homo Mafia lurk in the shadows, and then exchange Blackberry notes saying, “All clear for Maf54 to resume typing and whacking”? Cliff Kinkaid, of the right-wing “Accuracy” in Media, said, “For the sake of honest and open government, not to mention protection of the children, the secret Capitol Hill homosexual network must be exposed and dismantled. But only Republican leaders can do that.” In other words, the party that has destroyed honest and open government is the only one who can ensure honest and open government. And Republican gays, who previously were invisible, are suddenly popping out of nowhere like mosquitoes in August. Never mind the rapidly unraveling trail of deceit and cover-up emerging from the powers that be, passing the buck quicker than a Vegas cashier. Blame the gays, and you’re home free.
|
) to rate.
Facebook
MySpace
Twitter
Email
