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John Roman
John Roman
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day: Frank Sinatra"

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I've been performing comedy since 2005. I struggle daily to be funny. I love waffles.
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From All Time)

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John Roman
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 Man Falls Off Bridge While Urinating

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: Apr 24, 2009
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

Authorities are still trying to figure out what pissed him off.

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 Octuplet Mom's Minivan Is Vandalized

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: Apr 3, 2009
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Octomom
41 Jokes  1 Videos

Apparently someone spray painted it yellow and wrote the words ‘School Bus” on the side.

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 Alaska May Consider Bans on Bestiality

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: Mar 23, 2009
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Sarah Palin
289 Jokes  8 Videos

Alaska may consider bans on bestiality after a 26-year-old registered sex offender was accused of molesting a local family's pet dog in the community of Klawock.
Governor Sarah Palin, who is a strong supporter of the bill stated, “If  this bill would have passed a year a go, my daughter may have never gotten pregnant”
 

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 They’re Grrreat!

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: May 5, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Paris Hilton
250 Jokes  10 Videos

Paris Hilton’s vagina is like a contest on a box of cereal. 
‘Many will enter, few will win’
 

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 On September 7th Anna Nicole gave birth to a healthy 6 pound, 9 ounce baby girl

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: Sep 18, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Anna Nicole Smith
57 Jokes  1 Videos

 

On September 7th Anna Nicole gave birth to a healthy 6 pound, 9 ounce baby girl. On September 18th Anna announced the newborns engagement to 57 year old oil tycoon Jimmy Biggs. The pair have set a spring wedding.

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 Most-Pierced Lady Has Over 6,000 Piercings

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: Feb 26, 2009
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Paris Hilton
250 Jokes  10 Videos

Elaine Davidson has had 6,005 pricks in her body. Edging out Paris Hilton by 7.


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 David Hasselhoff Hospitalized With Alcohol Poisoning

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: May 5, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

David Hasselhoff
18 Jokes  1 Videos

Friends say they knew he had a little too much after they found the actor behind an alley yelling into his watch, “KITT!, I’m drunk, get me out of here.”

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 Cape Cod Potato Chips Founder Stephen Bernard Dies

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: Mar 14, 2009
Category: News  Staff Pick!

61-year-old Stephen Bernard died on March 7 at Cape Cod Hospital. A quite funeral service was held on March 11. However, there seemed to be some confusion during the service as pallbearers complained that the coffin did not feel full. A spokesperson for the family quickly explained that, “If it does not appear full it is because contents have settled during shipping and handling”

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 Spooked Horse Injures Madonna

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: Apr 18, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Madonna
120 Jokes

Which comes as no surprise as most horses are afraid of cougars.

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 Pope Sparks Controversy

By: John Roman (C)
Submitted: Sep 18, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Pope
112 Jokes  1 Videos

 

Vatican officials insisted the pope did not intend to be offensive and expressed regret over any hurt caused to Muslims. He then expressed his remorse by demonstrating his best Bullwinkle impression.

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