... the ban of super skinny, size zero models during fashion week in Madrid, Spain...

Okay, we get the point!

The lead singer of the popular children's group, The Wiggles, has announced that he will stop performing with the group after being diagnosed with orthostatic intolerance, a chronic condition that causes dizziness, fatigue, and an odd attraction to minivan-driving soccer moms.

"N*GGA, PLEASE!"

14. Thou shalt never, ever pirouette, arabesque or plie... never.

I feel the media is doing a great disservice to all the orphans of Africa because they need:

a) food
b) healthy living accommodations
c) A rich white woman that used to wear bra-cones like me to save them from themselves and poverty
d) Mufasa

Rose Rock, Chris Rock's mother, has called upon Al Sharpton and his National Action Network to demonstrate outside of a South Carolina Cracker Barrel restaurant, where she alleges the staff ignored her.

Chris has stated, "Hey, she knew what she was getting herself into."

Jessica Simpson’s mother furiously stopped a racy magazine photo shoot of her daughter in bed that her husband initially approved. Though Tina Simpson said the photos were slutty, her husband said Jessica, “... is just sexy. She’s got DD’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!”

At first Tina laughed at his comments, but was taken aback when he added, “And her ass is AMAZING!”

Barbara Walters has approached acclaimed psychics Judi Hoffman, Char Margolis, Sylvia Browne and The Amazing Kreskin seeking assistance in finding a replacement co-host for the recently fired Star Jones Reynolds.

After carefully reading the stars and probing the future, they all concluded that the new co-host will definitely be of a darker hue.

BET founder Robert Johnson is teaming with The Weinstein Company to launch a film label that will produce pics aimed at African-American audiences. To better serve their target demographic Harvey Weinstein suggested that the films begin 35 minutes later than the listed movie showtimes.

Daily Variety, 7/14/06

"Free agent center 'Big' Ben Wallace is leaving the Detroit Pistons to sign with the Chicago Bulls," a person within the NBA said Monday. Ben is leaving because of his disappointment in the Pistons’ offer, the high crime rate in Detroit, and the lack of "good corn-rollists" in the motor city.