Recently, several people have gotten in trouble for selling access to Hezbollah TV in the US, which has banned the station after designating Hezbollah a terrorist organization.

However, I must admit that my curiosity was piqued, and after a long search I finally pointed my satellite dish in the right direction. The following are my 5 favorite Hezbollah TV shows:

5. No Deal or No Deal
4. Survivor: Beirut
3. Desperate Jihadists
2. VH1: Behind the Explosives
1. Two and a Half Jews

*Addendum- added 10/19/06:
 Today I heard Bill Maher use the No Deal or No Deal joke on Real Time, refering to an Iraqi TV show,  so don't think I stole it from him, because I wrote this at least 2 weeks ago.  Just know that I'm as funny as he is, only sooner...Tim

Former undisputed heavyweight champ Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield came out of retirement this past weekend at age 43, but due to being pummeled many thousands of times in the head, the former champ mistakingly staged his comeback as a male figure skater.

"None of us had the heart to tell him that he was never a figure skater, much less the "champ" that he was boasting he was in warm-ups," said a fellow competitor." Also, he's a very big man, and we're small and gay."

Holyfield placed dead last in the competition, but he did win best costume in an online poll.

A severely brain-damaged woman in an unresponsive, vegetative state showed clear signs on brain imaging tests that she was aware of herself and her surroundings, researchers reported today.

When they are done studying Jessica Simpson, the researchers plan to study Anna Nicole Smith, Keith Richards and the mysterious consciousness of Paris Hilton.

Introducing...The Venetian Veil!

Wear the blinds up for complete Western assimiliation, but when those pesky morality police come poking around, simply tug, pull to the left, and presto! Instant Muslim old school.

A Chinese man who had the world's first penis transplant had the organ removed two weeks later because his wife had a, "severe psychological problem" with his new penis.

Millions of married men have gone into hiding, afraid they will meet the new penis removal criteria.

Since learning of waterboarding—a technique of interrogation where water is poured over a restrained prisoner's face until he thinks that drowning is inescapable, has been in the news, I have been using it once a week on my roommate.

I don't know if it would cause terrorists to give up their secrets, but I have found that my roommate is much more likely to purchase toilet paper and wash the dishes than before.

I highly recommend the technique for home use, and I'd like to thank the news media for their very informative and helpful coverage.

I don't mean to boast, but I had a pretty kick ass show in Sadr City the other night.

A Midwestern Romance...

I hope she said yes, cause he's out like 30 bucks.

"I'd like to support my new brother in arms, Cosmo Kramer, for getting our message out there, but I could never bring a title like that back to the clubhouse," junior Klansman Earl Shiflett was overheard saying to a local Blockbuster employee."Could you recommend some of his work that doesn't sound so Jewey?"