China has made a plan to reduce its high rate of executions by having all death penalty cases reviewed by the Supreme People’s Court.

Says an unnamed Chinese official, “Now the only people executed in China will be those that really deserve it. You know, rapists, murderers, and unborn female children.”

Nevada’s governor’s race took a scandalous turn this week when a cocktail waitress accused a candidate, Rep. Jim Gibbons, of trying to sexually assault her in a parking garage in Las Vegas.

Gibbons responded immediately by announcing he was gay, abused as a child and an alcoholic. When that didn’t work, he accused the waitress of harboring weapons of mass destruction.

An Ohio judge recently ruled that election officials must accept provisional ballots from homeless voters, a move widely regarded to benefit Barack Obama since low income populations have a tendency to vote Democrat.

I actually think the homeless were some of the first Obama supporters.  Since the very beginning, they've been out on the street demanding change.

O.J. Simpson has written a new book about the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman called, "If I Did It."

His next goal is to write sequels entitled, "If Basketball Players Are Tall" and, "If Water is Wet."

The verdict is still out on KFC's intentions toward lesbian, gay, and bisexual fats.

A female chimpanzee in a Louisiana sanctuary has given birth, despite the fact that the facility's entire male population has had vascectomies.

Evolutionary scientists marvel at the fact that monkeys have actually proven the virgin-birth theory.

Looks like SOMEBODY'S getting a promotion.