Gwyneth Paltrow said, "The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans." She added, "However, 'civilized' don't pay the bills like 'Shallow Hal.'"

Lindsay Lohan’s publicist is defending herself after announcing that her client is attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

“What’s the point of being an alcoholic if you’re going to be anonymous about it?”

Actor Michael Richards will meet with the hecklers who triggered his racist rant to give them a cash settlement. Said Richards, “Just because I can’t do stand-up doesn't mean I can't end it!”

Christians are angry that the first Muslim elected to Congress will be taking the oath of office on The Koran. Said one, "How dare he violate the separation of church and state with a book other than the Bible!"

Anna Nicole Smith has been ordered to subject her daughter to a paternity test. Said Smith, “I hope she scores higher than Danny did on his drug test.”

In the wake of the Michael Richards debacle, Laugh Factory owner Jaime Masada has banned the N-word from his comedy club.

"However," he added, "bitch, ho and c*nt are still funny."

As a result of the Michael Richards rant, Paul Mooney has called on all black entertainers to stop using the N-word.

When asked to comment, rap star 50 Cent said nothing.

Senator Barack Obama is reportedly exploring an ’08 presidential bid. His qualifications include two years in the Senate and the fact that he’s “Colin Powell-black,” not “Al Sharpton-black.”

Wal-Mart announced plans to open its first retail stores in India. Tags on clothes will read, "Made Here."