Today I learned Andy Samberg of SNL fame is dating Kirsten Dunst aka Marie Antoinette, Queen of Lame. Uncool Andy. Why won't you return my calls? Also uncool. (quickly IMDBs Kirsten Dunst) Well, have fun Bringing it On in Elizabethtown while this Crazy/Beautiful Mona Lisa is NOT Smiling. Enjoy your constant Interview with a snaggletoothed Vampire. Why can't you be MY Spider Man for once? Am I not Drop Dead Gorgeous? Why do you have to be such a Dick? You told me I was The Cat's Meow! Did you catch the US Open last week at Wimbledon? Me either. Anyway, Im gonna go play Jumanji with some Little Women. Oh, and thanks for leaving me Fifteen and Pregnant. I'll Get Over It.
Deeply,
Deanna

-Soup is always the right temperature after 11 blocks.

-If a homeless person holding a Blackberry asks you for change, he is probably from the future.

-I am procrastinating by writing things on DailyComedy.com instead of doing homework.

According to CNN.com, "Ashton Kutcher's animated comedy "Open Season" debuted with $23 million. Kutcher also finished in second place with Disney's "The Guardian." The action drama opened with $17.7 million."

After realizing their hard earned dollars were spent on Ashton Kutcher movies, Americans everywhere confessed, "I got PUNK'D!"

Richie says she is glad to be rid of the extra weight, but is reportedly jealous of her new son's slim baby figure.

"If you have friends who couldn't get on Facebook before—either because their school didn't give out email addresses, or because they went to work instead of college—now they can all get on Facebook." -A recent message from the creators of Facebook

A resounding sigh was heard from pedophiles everywhere. Finally, a place where you can be a youngster's "poke buddy" without doing jail time.