Michelle Obama is allegedly pregnant.

Proof that Barack Obama's "stimulus package" is already working.

JonBenet Ramsey murder suspect John Mark Karr arrived in Los Angeles after being flown business class from Thailand. A regretful Karr said that on reflection, confessing to the crime was probably not worth the double miles.

Actress Jodie Foster has come to Mel Gibson's defense. Speaking to the L.A. Times on Friday, Foster said Gibson is "absolutely not" an anti-semite.

She then added under her breath, "And I like men."

(Quips made right after Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech on MTV's video music awards)
 
Kanye West has won! Douche of the decade! Congrats!
 
I just re-watched that Kanye clip. Seriously, he is a complete piece of shit. I wish Beyonce had gone on stage, told him that Ray Ellin said that, and then congratulated Taylor Swift. I hope Al Sharpton comes out and speaks on Taylor's behalf.

(mid-show)

This just in - President Obama has offered to step in and make peace between Kanye West and Taylor Swift... over a glass of milk - -- (she's only 19)

This just in - Serena Williams cursed out Kanye West. (for those of you who watched the US Open).
Meanwhile, I don't even CARE about this crap... but I truly find the lack of social graces fascinating... let's all cheer the 'Love for Michael Jackson,' but... act like scumbags to your colleagues who are alive lol

(after Beyonce gave Taylor Swift her award speech time)

Beyonce. Well done! Actually would have paid to see Kanye run out AGAIN in the middle of Taylor Swift's second speech. 

Paris Hilton will be selling her bed in an online auction at StyleSearch.com.

In a related story, George Michael will be auctioning off the bushes where he was caught with van driver Norman Kirtland.

Actress Loni Anderson was named in a poll as one of the most beautiful women over 60.

This GILF attributes her beauty to a proper diet, plenty of exercise, and a charter membership to Airbrushers Anonymous (above photo released prior to joining A.A.).

According to BBC News, Nicole Kidman didn't need an annulment from Tom Cruise in order to marry Keith Urban in a Catholic Church—since Kidman and Cruise were wed in a Scientology ceremony, they were not officially married by Catholic Church standards.

So, I got laid last night.

Thank you.

The important part of this tale is not with whom, how, or why. It's to let you all know a piece of information that may prevent an awkward moment in the sack.

In the heat of passion I didn't take my jeans all the way off. We're getting into it, and in the middle she asks me if I have a Mexican roommate.

That seemed like a strange question.

As it turns out, I had a pack of tic-tacs in my pocket.

plus

equals