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Frank Lovece
Frank Lovece




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Biography
Journalist, author, humorist and comedy performer. Part of the NYC improv troupe Wingnuts from 2001-03; later appeared in comic one-acts by playwright Alan Magill. Humor writing has appeared in "Entertainment Weekly," "New York Newsday," Yahoo! / MSN and elsewhere. And as you can see, Hulk Hogan and I used to date.
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From All Time)

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Frank Lovece
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 "How Are You?"

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Aug 3, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Doctor
295 Jokes  2 Videos

I've got pneumonia and arthritis,

asthma, diverticulitis,

measles, mumps and whooping cough,

kidney stones, my liver's soft,

trichinosis and thrombosis,

not to mention some neurosis,

headaches and post-nasal drip,

I fell down stairs and broke my hip,

ingrown toenail and the gout,

ran with scissors, poked an eye out,

acid reflux, fallen arches,

doctor says to eat no starches,

glass eye with astigmatism,

can't go dancing – got no rhythm,

anaphylaxis, splitting migraines,

sympathetic labor pains...

 

... but other than that, I can't complain. How are you?

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Frank Lovece
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 Cruising Pluto

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Aug 24, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Hollywood
175 Jokes  8 Videos

Astronomers in Prague today have decided Pluto is no longer a planet.  In related news, producers in Hollywood have decided Tom Cruise is no longer a star.

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Frank Lovece
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 Space Shuttle Atlantis Lands Safely

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Sep 21, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Space
277 Jokes  3 Videos


"It's nice to be back," said the Space Shuttle's commander, Captain Brent Jett.

His comment was seconded by Mission Specialist Rex Rocket, Lieutenant Jane Spaceway, and Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen.

 

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 Congress passes Bush prisoner bill

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Sep 29, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Congress
246 Jokes  2 Videos


The U.S. Congress passed a bill yesterday giving President Bush the expanded war powers he requested.

Provisions of the bill include reclassifyng terror suspects as "the usual suspects,"  disallowing torture except when no one's looking, and replacing the Geneva Conventions with the Sadr City Conventions.

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 George Bush and Mental Health

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Sep 8, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

George Bush
653 Jokes  17 Videos

The White House announced several new appointments on Sept. 5, including "American Idol" winner Clay Aiken to join the President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities.

We're just glad the President has decided to seek help, no matter who it's from.

 

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 Headlines of the times

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Sep 19, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Scarlett Johansson
7 Jokes


"Scarlett Johansson Says She's Happy with Her Curves" -- Associated Press, Sept. 19, 2006


And may we say we're happy for her. Next up: "Angelina Jolie Happy with Her Lips" and "Associated Press Happy with Hard-Hitting Entertainment Reporting About Breasts."

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 Rice in Japan

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Oct 18, 2006
Category: News  

 



 







Punsters declare holiday.

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 Headlines of the times

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Aug 24, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Iran
176 Jokes

"AM New York" (Aug. 24, 2006,)
   
    "Iran nuke talks too little: U.S."

Well, you know our country. We always liked those chatty smart bombs.

 

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 Headlines of the times

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Sep 8, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Afghanistan
57 Jokes

"The New York Times" (Sept. 3, 2006)
   
    "Opium Harvest at Record Level in Afghanistan"

Damn, I knew I should have invested in those opium futures.

 

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 Headlines of the times

By: Frank Lovece (C)
Submitted: Sep 21, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

New York
1179 Jokes  34 Videos


From the Sept. 21, 2006, New York Times:

Little Girl, 3 Million Years Old, Offers New Hints on Evolution   -  Front-page headline


"What becomes alarming is when you see bones and start counting ribs."   -  Allure editor Linda Wells, on runway models.

 



The scientific mystery is solved: We all descended from supermodels.

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