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Julia Gorin is editor of the newly released book Clintonisms: The Amusing, Confusing and Suspect Musing of Billary. She is also the third-most recognizable name in politically conservative stand-up comedy. In addition to being profiled in the 2005 book South Park Conservatives, Julia's jokes were featured in the definitely non-conservative Penthouse magazine. Her jokes are among the "1,500 Best Jokes Ever Told" in Penguin Group's Complete Idiot's Guide to Jokes. When she isn't writing jokes or taking [more]
Frank James says:
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Apparently, "Robert Bork" is so hopelessly conditioned that he doesn't realize no one is forcing him to read your material--material which he, obviously, could never create or fully comprehend.
It is sad when rabbits attempt to roar.
You're brilliant.
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Robert Bork says:
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Julia it's called Daily COMEDY. Try posting something funny next time, not a fart that came out of your head.
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Amputee Beauty Pageant Crowns Miss Landmine 2008
She has beauty, brains and soon a new prosthetic leg. Agusta Urica, 31, was crowned the world's first Miss Landmine Wednesday in Luanda, Angola, beating out 17 other women who've lost limbs to landmines in this African nation still struggling with the vestiges of a 20-year civil war.
Muslim clerics around the globe denounced this infidel-style parade of flesh, and vowed that participants would be punished by amputation or explosion.
In related news, a typically overzealous pageant mom was arrested after it was discovered she cut her own daughter's foot off to qualify her for the competition.
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Political comedienne Julia Gorin's new humor book, Clintonisms: The Amusing, Confusing, and Suspect Musing of Billary, has hit bookstores across the nation, answering once and for all: Do the Clintons feel our pain, or do they cause it?
Dating back to the 1960s and through both their runs for the highest office in the land, CLINTONISMS juxtaposes Hillary and Bill’s (Billary’s) own words with comedic pre-punchlines, providing a hilarious, ironic, surprising and shocking ride through four decades of the most controversial political couple in American history.
Learn what it was like for Bill and Chelsea to go through puberty together, whether Socks the Cat will be re-adopted to the position of First Prop, and why the Clintons insist on pedigree dogs when they all end up the same in the end. Flat.
Enjoy these excerpts from what's being called the handbook to the 'sport' of Clinton:
ISN’T THAT CALLED A DICTATORSHIP?
“Bill and I didn’t come to Washington to do business as usual and compromise.” -- Hillary Clinton
OH WELL
“Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that.” -- Bill Clinton, as a student, to a female acquaintance
TELL THAT TO MOTHER TERESA
“The only way to make a difference is to acquire power.” -- Hillary Clinton, in her senior year of college
SOMETHING EVERY LITTLE GIRL NEEDS
“I am a Cubs fan, but I needed an American League team…so as a young girl, I became very interested and enamored of the Yankees.” –Hillary Clinton
KEEPIN’ IT UNREAL
“It feels like coming home.” – Bill Clinton, while strolling through Harlem, February 2001
OR ON ME
“My husband may have his faults, but he has never lied to me.” – Hillary Clinton
IL(GOTTEN )LOGIC
“If we did something improper, then how come we lost money?” – Hillary Clinton
I’M JUST SAYIN’
“The 22nd Amendment should probably be modified to say two consecutive terms instead of two terms for a lifetime.” – Bill Clinton
I’M STILL JUST SAYIN’
“There may come a time when we have elected a president at age 45 or 50 and then 20 years later the country comes up with the same sort of problems the president faced before, and the people would like to bring that man or woman back.” – Bill Clinton, speech at the John F. Kennedy Library and Museum, Boston, May 28, 2003
BESIDES, HIS SEX LIFE IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS
“He ministers to troubled people all the time… If you knew his mother you would understand.” – Hillary Clinton, to Sidney Blumenthal, about Bill’s relationship with Monica Lewinsky
YEAH, WE KNOW
“I may not have been the greatest president, but I’ve had the most fun eight years.” – Bill Clinton
IS THAT WHY THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS?
“Every time [George H. W.] Bush talks about trust it makes chills run up and down my spine. The way he has trampled on the truth is a travesty of the American political system.” – Bill Clinton, October 28, 1992
THEY DO TRAVEL IN PACKS
“Buddy, the dog, came along to keep Bill company. He was the only member of our family who was still willing to.” – Hillary Clinton, referring to their Martha’s Vineyard retreat after Bill’s grand jury testimony, Living History
YOU FIRST
“Get tested, tested, tested.” – Bill Clinton, advice concerning AIDS
I WOULD STAND INSTEAD
“I promised myself when I left the presidency that I would not spend one day sitting and moping and wishing I was still president.” – Bill Clinton, to Fortune magazine
Julia Gorin is among the most recognized names in conservative political comedy. Her TV credits include Bill Maher’s “Politically Incorrect”, “Fox ‘n Friends”, “Hannity & Colmes”, “The Big Story w/John Gibson.” She has been a guest on countless national radio programs, and a repeat guest on the BBC World Radio, NPR and Voice of America networks.
In 2005, Julia was profiled in the book South Park Conservatives, and her humor was featured in Penthouse magazine the same year. Julia’s jokes are among the “1,500 Best Jokes Ever Told” in Penguin Group’s Complete Idiot’s Guide to Jokes and her comedy has been featured in NY Times, NY Post, NY Daily News, Hustler magazine, Razor magazine, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Wall St. Journal, NY Sun, NY Press, Baltimore Sun, NY Observer, Washington Times, Orange County Register, the Palm Beach Post, Minneapolis Star-Tribune and the National Journal’s Hotline.
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Leeland Eisenberg, the man who held several people hostage at Hillary Clinton’s New Hampshire campaign offices last week, said he was looking for help getting psychiatric care after being denied treatment because of a lack of funds.
Authorities said his psychosis was confirmed by the fact that he thought Hillary Clinton could help him with health care.
Hillary Clinton supporter
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