The financial crisis is not affecting me.  All my money is tied up in unearned income. 

After her performance in last night’s debate, Sarah Palin has dropped out of the Vice Presidential race citing financial hardship.  She reportedly has signed lucrative contracts with Anheuser Bush and The National Tourette Syndrome Foundation.

Some conservatives say that Gwen Ifill's upcoming book, 'The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama,' is pro-Obama and proves her bias to the left. These are the same people that say the bible proves Bush right.

I understand America's excitment over Sarah Palin.  It's simple. This is the first Vice President that people would want to fuck.  Sure, Al Gore could stay stiff for days but his personality turned people off.

 During a Sunday news conference in Iraq, President George W. Bush ducked two shoes that were thrown at him. In his last action as Commander In Chief he ordered, "Get that foot soldier out of here immediatly?"

We’ve got to have all options out there on the table because I’m ill and we’ve created 5 out of 4 jobs in the vodka distillers sector because the strategy in Iraq is what John wants to see if we are going to be successful in our quest to keep an eye on Russia throughout our great history. Why are you asking me these gotcha questions Gwinn? I have a gun and you look like a cute little moose.

If global warming is good for bicycle riding.  Warm and sunny. And if riding a bike helps the global warming problem. If enough people ride a bike then the weather will become cold and rainy again and bad for bike riding.

Caught you George! You like to ride bikes, your old, in the Library with a Gun.

My real estate agents' business is so bad that she lost her house to forclosure.  I wouldn't mind her showing me houses in her shopping cart but one of the wheels was broken and  her pee bottle kept leaking..