Gov. Blagojevich and wife Patti share a bar of soap.

 

Thanks to the FBI and Google the rest of the world now knows how to correctly pronounce and spell Blagojevich. 

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A $1.8 billion tollway improvement deal announced by Gov. Rod Blagojevich in October has been called into question after it was revealed the recently jailed Illinois governor made bail with $4500 in quarters and dimes.

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Los Angeles based retailer the 99 Cent Store plans to break their 26 year-old pledge of "Nothing Over 99 Cents, Ever" and raise prices above the $1.00 mark. According to company officials, "Thanks to a sluggish economy, the only thing worth less than a dollar is the dollar." 

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Former NBA star Charles Barkley will undergo a televised colonoscopy as part of a "Stand Up to Cancer" special being simultaneously aired Sept. 5 by NBC, CBS and ABC. Program producers say, "Not since the State of the Union Address by President George Bush has so much television coverage been devoted to one ass." 

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In a span of 10 days, a Kansas man in three separate contests won a 2008 "Bon Jovi Special Edition" Saturn Outlook, a 2009 Mitsubishi Lancer, and tickets to a Kansas City Chiefs game. Said winner Michel Horton, "Two out of three ain't bad." 

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After laying off 10 percent of it's workforce, Weather Channel officials say the extended forecast for a weak economy may force them to eliminate one week of summer. 

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In response to her daughter having been robbed of over $2 million in jewellery, Paris Hilton's mother Kathy commented, "You can’t be possessed by your possessions. Those are just things." This from a woman who named her daughter after the family hotel.