...talk show host Larry King's new book "My Remarkable Journey" is now available...in it he discusses his greatest triumphs, like overcomming a rough childhood, his first job in broadcasting, and how exciting it was meeting the Virgin Mary. 

...president-elect barack obama has announced that he will honor george bush's accomplishments by putting his face on the $10 food stamp. 

...i attended a new year's eve party at the british consulate...was talking amongst a group of british & american diplomats and their wives when i unexpectedly farted...to which a startled british diplomat said to me, "Sir, i take the utmost exception to your farting before my wife."....to which i replied, "Sorry, i didnt know it was her turn." 

...the new york mets, in need of a closer for the '09 season, have narrowed their list down to three....they hope to sign francisco rodriguez, brian fuentes, or kyra sedgewick. 

...massachusetts is considering an assisted suicide bill...under this bill, you go out drinking at a bar and ted kennedy gives you a ride home. 

...utah police say actor gary coleman hit a man with his pickup after an arguement at a bowling alley...after getting out of his truck, coleman continued beating the man with one of the dozen Los Angeles phone books he was sitting on to see over the dashboard. 

...rod blagojevich is taking time off from his busy corruption career to make a christmas cd....he is selling the cd at the low low price of $25,000 each, with the proceeds going to blagojevich's favorite charity....himself.....the cd is entitled, "It's The Most Blunderful Crime of the Year". 

...an iraqi reporter threw his pair of shoes in anger at president bush during his visit to iraq...the new york mets immediately offered him a contract for the upcoming season.