...reality TV goes rural this fall when Bravo Television network premieres "The Real Housewives of the Appalachian Trail."  The show will feature 16 women and 32 teeth. 

...the Make-A-Wish foundation turned down a donation from bikini clad car wash attendants because the donation was not unconditional.  It came with g-strings attached. 

...Debbie Rowe is working on her biography in which she details how she was basically a surrogate mother to Michael Jackson's kids.  The book will be out in September and will be titled, "The Debbie Rowe Story: I am Womb-an."

...Nestor Katzen rushed his 11 year old labrador Jack to the vet when he started acting strange after a visit to the bushes.  The vet concluded that Jack had devoured some marijuana.  He then prescribed for Jack lots of rest, plenty of water, and 12 dozen Twinkies.  

...Spike TV network is set to launch its own version of "Real Housewives" this fall.  Get ready for the "Bitches of Madison County."

...convicted swindler Bernie Madoff asked a federal judge to send him to a prison that is near his friends & family.  The judge approved the request and has sent Madoff to the Federal Correctional Facility in Hell.

...Joaquin Phoenix says he is giving up his acting career so he can devote more time to being a really bad musician. 

...a Polish woman is suing an Egyptian hotel after claiming her daughter became pregnant after swimming in the hotel pool.  The judge dismissed the suit as "inconceivable." 

...horticulturists have discovered a poisonous plant that only affects Jewish people.  Scientists have named the plant Poison Oy Vey. 

...a woman in Ghana has legally married her dog.  When asked to explain why, she replied, "All men are dogs anyway.  I just eliminated the middle man."