...a kinky NY couple were attending a "swinger's" weekend at a Poconos' resort.  The couple were participating in an act known as "fisting" when the man suffered a stroke and was unable to complete the "act."  Paramedics were called to the scene where EMT's administered Fist-Aid.  

...by the year 2011, the world's population is expected to hit 7 billion people.  Approximately 2 billion of those are expected to be named Pitt-Jolie.   

...a Nebraska farm worker who suffered a workplace injury when all his toes were severed by a combine has been fired.  His supervisor said the worker was dismissed due to carelessness which led to the accident, and said the man could no longer do the job effectively.  The worker filed a discrimination lawsuit against the company, claiming they were "lack toes intolerant." 

...Bravo TV, in order to boost its sagging ratings, has cancelled "Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List."  The show will be replaced by "Jenna Jameson: My Life On The DD-List." 

...conceding that they cannot win this season, the Somali Pirates have traded 10 Italians, 5 Romanians, and a Croat in exchange for 4 draft picks, cash, and a hostage to be named later. 

...Kevin Federline reportedly has been offered $1 million to lose weight after tipping the scales at 235 lbs.  Federline will earn the money if he can lose 45 lbs.  Britney Spears will double it if he loses the other 190. 

...a man driving a Fed-Ex truck on his very first day of employment has disappeared along with the truck.  Police say his whereabouts are unknown, but feel confident he will turn up by 10:30 AM.

...a 92 year old homeless woman had enough cash at the time of her death to be able to leave more than $100,000 to New York Hebrew University.  Another $200,000 was donated by her to buy the homeless brand new shopping carts. 

...Pepsi Cola Company will begin distributing a new soft drink that contains Viagra.  The new drink will be called "Mount and Do." 

Senior Living Magazine has released a study that states that the 3 most popular places for seniors to meet and gather are  bingo parlors, the  library, and 6 feet under.