Hector Medina, one of Argentina's wealthiest men, had his body cryogenically frozen until medical science can develop a cure for gunshot wounds. 

...workers at the Boone's Farm winery showed up to work to find the place vandalized and robbed.  Initially police had no idea who had broken in, and suspected a local gang had perpetrated the crime.  The case was solved when they found 4 teenagers passed out in a store room.  Apparently the vandals couldnt resist sampling the product and became so inebriated they couldnt find their way out. The four were charged with being bad to the Boone.    

Chaz Bono has successfully completed "gender reassignment" surgery and has lost her vaginaty. 

...a circuit court judge was bound over for trial after numerous jurors say the judge had been masturbating underneath his court robes.  The case was dismissed after the judge got off on a technicality.  

...the manager of a Jamaican reggae band was arrested at Kennedy airport and charged with smuggling 2 lbs of marijuana into the country.  The man insists he is innocent and was framed, but the authorities claim he was caught dread handed.  

...a man who had sex with a horse was sentenced to 3 years in prison.  Man denied doing anything wrong and insists that he and the horse had a stable relationship. 

...i was offered a job recently at a radio station.  The human resources director said the job paid $8 an hour now, and would pay $12 an hour in 90 days.  When i was asked when i could start, I said "How about in 90 days?" 

...the New York Mets today released their 2009 season highlights DVD...the DVD was 90 minutes long with nothing on it.  

...adventurer Alan Hissle became stranded in Canadian Rockies after falling and breaking his leg.  Hissle, a vegetarian, could not find any vegetation to eat because of the snow, so he tried to eat anything he could find.  For 4 days he subsisted on dead birds and bugs.  He told his rescuers that in order to survive, he had become a meat seeking Hissle.  

...after widespread corruption and voter fraud were found in Afghanistan's recent presidential election, the United States has sent over a delegation from the Florida Board of Elections to do another recount and certify a winner.  The challenger Abdullah Abdullah has quit the race in protest.  The recount was completed, and George Bush has been declared the winner.