In a comic book to be released next month, Spiderman stops the Jonas Brothers from destroying pop music.

My local newspaper is now publishing online.  I'm potty training my puppy and he's already ruined three computers.

The seventeen-year-old is expected to be highly recruited by the Coast Guard, the Navy, and the Somali pirates.

The White House had no comment.

President Obama gave the trick-or-treaters a choice of treats:  M & M's, dried fruit, or the public option.  

No wonder I had such a hard time getting tech support.

Surgeon General Warning:  Smoking May Cause Bankruptcy

He should have bought the pack of Newports that were on sale for 10 quadrillion dollars.

The well-to-do couple have two homes.  As part of the divorce agreement, the husband gets the three-story chateau and the wife gets to keep the Barbie Fun House. 

Octomom's financial situation is so dire that her car may be repossessed.  Fortunately, she can hide it in her uterus. 

President Obama yesterday ordered an end to torture techniques like waterboarding, sleep deprivation, and playing Jessica Simpson CDs.