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WWW.VERBALCARTOONIST.COM is NOW UP AND RUNNING and voted BEST NEW COMEDY SITE.
Five days ago we hit 1,000 VISITS a day. Today I am at just under 1,400 individual visits a day. Find out Why.

Just recently came out with my book 'DISCONTINUED SOUP' Available through Barnes & Noble etc have done several years of stand up in NYC and the Midwest.

I have a weekly feature (Dan Liebert, Verbal Cartoonist) on www.mcsweeneys.net/links/danliebert. Also I have recorded weekly bits for national NPR's 'Fair Game' show.

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Lucy Logsdon (Guest) says:

Your stuff is hilarious. I found it because I read via Illinois Arts Council newsletter that a poetry recipient from Elizabethtown had won---and I found this David Sedaris--like stuff instead. Are you really living in the Elizabethtown in Southern Illinois--on the Ohio River? That's crazy!...

Beth Schumann says:

I'm sorry. I know I'm a total snot. I didn't think you stole my joke, I know that lots of people can come up with similar ideas. I was just having a bad day, a fight with my husband, etc. etc. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, sorry. Of course your joke is hilarious, because great minds think...

Ray Ellin says:

so funny... all of it.

Octavia Smith says:

I'm so loving this page.keep it coming.

Dan Liebert says:

Thanks Ray, I've enjoyed you many times from the balcony at the Strip. If you see DF tell him hello and be sure to let him know you like my stuff - he taught me.

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Joke Cloud (Popular Tags)

Joke List: Most Shared (From All Time)

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82 Jokes  

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Generic Margarine By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Dec 8, 2007 Category: Weird

I bought generic margarine and it was just as good as the name brand. I can't believe it's not I can't believe it's not butter. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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VEGETARIAN DINER By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Dec 20, 2007 Category: Weird

From Hot Topic Vegetarian 31 Jokes

I was at a vegetarian diner. The guy next to me was eating their famous Nine Bean Chili with grilled tofu chunks and melted soy cheese on top along with a tall glass of soy milk. So basically he's eating beans mixed with chunks of beans with beans melted on top and washed down with a nice, cold glass of beans. He may be healthy but he ain't gonna be popular. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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BANKS ARE GIVING AWAY REAL ESTATE By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Dec 14, 2007 Category: Weird

My friend Steve paid $400 for a weekend seminar on how to get rich in real estate. According to the brochure - "Banks are just giving away real estate - find out how you can get some!" Trust me, banks are NOT giving away real estate. We are talking about the people who put a long chain on a pen that doesn't work. I don't think they're giving away apartment houses. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Home Schooling By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 19, 2007 Category: Weird

From Hot Topic School 933 Jokes  35 Videos

My brother and his family live way the hell out in the Ozarks and they're homeschooling their kids. My little nephew Eric came up to me and said, "Guess what, Uncle Danny, this year I got straight A's!" "Gee, that's great Eric but I'm not surprised, I mean your dad IS banging the teacher." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (3)  |  Rate it:

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W.C. Fields & China By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Apr 8, 2008 Category: Political  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic China 308 Jokes  8 Videos

As W.C. Fields would have said about Communist China: anyone who poisons dogs and children can't be all bad. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Oil Hits $100 A Barrel By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Jan 2, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Gas Price 46 Jokes

Between the housing slump and high oil prices my Consumer Confidence Index fell so low I passed out in Wal-Mart. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Iran is Marlboro Country By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 30, 2007 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Iran 176 Jokes

Iran has banned the word 'women' on Iranian TV - all references to 'women's' issues' or 'women's groups' will be changed to 'family'. First we're told there's no gays in Iran and now there's no women. That leaves men and little boys. Hmmmm. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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MOTIVATIONAL POSTER By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Dec 27, 2007 Category: Weird

From Hot Topic Dirty Mouth 2100 Jokes  60 Videos

I don't know about you but if I'm working in a shitty office and the boss puts an inspirational poster on the wall of some guy hang gliding in Maui, I'm not inspired to make more sales calls, I'm inspired to go hang gliding in Maui. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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We Couldn't Bear Children By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Dec 14, 2007 Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Marriage 1323 Jokes  27 Videos

My ex-wife and I couldn't bear children. It was the only thing we had in common. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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FORTUNE COOKIE By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Dec 11, 2007 Category: Weird

Not really a joke but I just got a fortune cookie "You will win the respect of your pears". Can you believe there are people who entrust their fate to a fortune cookie? Me, I take charge of my fate - I open cookie after cookie till I find a fortune I like. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it: