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I'm a silky smooth, neurotic mess. But I clean up nice.

I'm a standup comedian, yet I'm not really a standup comedian. I'm more of a comedy writer with a microphone. Yes, that's right, the worst kind of hack imaginable. So, If I end up dead in a ditch, start questioning all "road warrior" comics immediately.

For more clips and other me-related stuff, go to http://myspace.com/dhcomedy.

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Joke Cloud (Popular Tags)

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55 Jokes  

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How Do You Embalm a Career? By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jan 18, 2008 Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Lindsay Lohan 106 Jokes  2 Videos

Lindsay Lohan must work two days in a morgue as part of a court-ordered program. "This'll be a piece of cake," Lohan predicted, "I spend pretty much every weekend surrounded by stiff guys." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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Yeah, but Clinton Banged 935 Interns By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jan 25, 2008 Category: Political  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Iraq 411 Jokes  3 Videos

A nonprofit group has produced a new report documenting 935 false statements by Bush administration officials leading up to the Iraq war. The report, titled "No Shit", was handed to a man named Sherlock. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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Farrah Fawcett Wanted for Arson By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jun 18, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Texas 289 Jokes  4 Videos

Poor Rick Perry. First the Texas Governor's mansion nearly burns to the ground, now there are rumors floating around that he's gay. I'm not saying either way, but I can tell you that no 58-year-old straight guy should have feathered hair. In 2008. Hell, the Disco Era called and is threatening a lawsuit. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Blow it Like a Bad Singer By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Aug 31, 2007 Category: Sports  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic David Beckham 22 Jokes

LA Galaxy star David Beckham will likely miss up to six more weeks after suffering a knee injury in a recent match. The injury would have been less severe, but Posh Spice had borrowed his knee pads that day. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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And Hey, At Least We're Not Baltimore By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Oct 22, 2007 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Baltimore 27 Jokes

According to a survey by Travel & Leisure magazine and CNN Headline News, Philadelphia is home to the least attractive people in the United States. The city of more than 1.5 million people was also found to be among the least stylish, least active, least friendly and least worldly. In response, city officials have proposed replacing the motto "The city of brotherly love" with "Philly: You Can Dress Badly and Probably Still Get Laid Here." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Shape of...a Talented Stable Mom! By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Oct 16, 2007 Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Cop 1357 Jokes  15 Videos

Actual Yahoo! Headline: "Britney Spears turns herself into police to face charges of hit and run and driving without a license." Hmm... I guess I don't see how Brit squeezing herself into a plus-size "Sexy Cop" Halloween outfit is going to --- oh, I get it. They meant "turn herself in to police". Looks like a whole generation of Britney fans have grown up to be Yahoo journalists. UPDATE: Damn. Looks like they've corrected it. Won't someone at Yahoo please, please think of the comedians? Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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'Nicole-Richie-Ceratops' was Taken By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Nov 15, 2007 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Paris Hilton 250 Jokes  10 Videos

After assembling its skull from fossil fragments, scientists are reporting that a newly-discovered dinosaur had a mouth like a vacuum cleaner. The animal will be known as Parisaurus Hiltonex. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Here's a Calendar, Dude By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Sep 4, 2007 Category: Political  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic George Bush 653 Jokes  17 Videos

I'm no fan of President Bush, and I'm as ready for him to leave office as anyone. But there are few things dumber than the bumper stickers that say "Is It 2008 Yet?" Um...dude? No. It's not. This sticker makes you look as dumb as the guy you're protesting. And guess what? In a few short months, it will be 2008...at which time the sticker will make you look even dumber. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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Jokes That Write Themselves, Part 324 By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jan 28, 2008 Category: Political

From Hot Topic Barack Obama 883 Jokes  28 Videos

Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison, who described Bill Clinton as the U.S.'s "first black president" a decade ago, has announced her support for Barack Obama. In other news, Ms. Morrison is the recipient of a successful eye transplant. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Maybe You Fired Them, Al By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Aug 27, 2007 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Alberto Gonzales 10 Jokes

U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced his resignation today. Asked if he looked forward to spending time with his family, Gonzales stated he could not recall having a family. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it: