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Well I the Ari am without a doubt one of the funniest and manliest men ever, I often write about my amazing life, and of course I make fun of fat people and woman. So go ahead read a few of my bits, check out my website and if you dont like it,if you think I am mean and sexist then you have no taste in comedy. Before reading my bits know the definition of the word I invented Definition of ManRib = Any female/girlHistory of ManRib = Eve was made from Adams rib, which means she is a ManRib, which in turn [more]
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This is a homework assignment I received from my English teacher, I just finished it what do you think?
Response should be at least one page double-spaced. Respond thoughtfully. 1. Recall a situation in which you felt controlled by fear. Explain. From what I remember, I have never really been controlled by fear, I am fearless, real men are not controlled by anyone, or anything but I could have been afraid as a child I do not remember, and to be honest, if I was controlled by fear, I would not admit it to you, ManRib. Actually here’s a fear, I fear you without clothes, I fear seeing your fat ass camel toe naked, I’m hiding under my pillow just thinking about it. 2. Why do/did you have this fear? What created it? (Speculate if you aren’t sure.) Why do I have this fear, hmm well every time I see a fat chick where tight jeans, the way you do, I just get this fear, of what if I have to see them naked? Its quite disturbing in my mind, I guess you can blame yourself for this fear. 3. Is it a rational fear? Explain your reasoning. Yes id have to say this fear is very rational, I’m quite sure just about every person in all of Torrey pines that has seen you walk throughout the campus has this fear. 4. How does/did your fear impact your behavior (both in the situation and in general)? In a situation where I have to talk to you, it impacts my behavior, I’m afraid to look at you, and I’m afraid to talk to you, as you might get some sexual vibe and get naked, in general when you are not around it does not affect me
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So its a late Friday, just got back from a long movie night with some manribs (I have decided to lower case that word, as females are not equivalent to us Men), so I think to myself, wow I have not written in a long time, what should I post for my loyal 2-3 fan's. So I go ahead and check my email and it appears that someone has commented my trip to china town on my daily comedy blog http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/2958 , wow I’m excited, what does someone have to say about my work, because I really care what other people think of it. Here is the comment
Maria
“You should probably learn how to spell Korean if you’re going to make fun of them for not being able to read.”
Well as many of my loyal readers know I can give a shit about spelling, and in my opinion who gives a shit, as long as the readers understand what I am trying to say, that's all that matters, right? Who gets to invent the spelling for Korean anyway, why should it be spelled that way, as apposed to mine, should we all have to follow societies spelling rules, I think not. Although I did go back and correct my spelling error, could Maria just not have told me privately instead of trying to embarrass me in front of the comedic community, is she that cold hearted of a person? Well here is your answer, she herself is Korean, and she was offended by my incredible words of wisdom.
So here is my response, if you don’t like my spelling go back to China Ping-Pong! This is America we spell how we want.
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Well it was a Sunday night, bored out of my mind like usual, so off of the suggestion of two ManRib’s in my math class I downloaded the movie She’s the Man and let me spare you two hours, now before watching the movie I had seen the previews, and it looked like the stupidest piece of shit, but even I the Ari has been fooled before. So I started the movie, the first few minutes started with Amanda Bines, from now on I will refer to as flatty, so anyway it shows how flatties soccer team is in big trouble boo hoo, now this really pissed me off, because ManRibs’s do not play soccer, they kick a ball around, so anyway flatty goes out and tries to make a Man’s soccer team, which in real life would be impossible, as ManRib’s are slower, weaker, and less of a person than us men, anyway it was a movie, so I’d let the director have her make believe fun, basically the whole time watching this predictable sack of crap, I was wondering why I was still watching it, but I always stick it out until the end, so of course struggles in the beginning, makes the team, people find out she’s a ManRib and then they forgive her. After watching this I think I might go out and rent all copies of this movie, then burn them in the store, laughing historically while saving many people from this terrible movie. Basically after reading this I hope I have saved you all from watching this ManRibish predictable bag of dog shit on fire. Definition of ManRib = Any female/girl History of ManRib = Eve was made from Adams rib, which means she is a ManRib, which in turn means all females are ManRib’s, this word was created by the great Ari. Heres a picture of flatty 
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So I just got back from China Town, or Asia Town, not really sure, all I know is there were many pointy eyes, anyway I learned something there, and thought I would share it with you all, so I was on the train and a little Chinese girl started crying, it was so weird, Chinese babies cry just like our American babies, I don’t know I always thought, that we were the only ones who cried, it was just a weird thing to hear. So I didn’t know what to do, finally I just got up, and I said “Stop crying ching chong I’m trying to read", because here in America we know how to read. For some reason I got all these disturbing looks from all the pandas in the train, pshh like they could understand what I was saying, I was talking in English. Then some ching chong panda on the train, stands up and says "We're not Chinese were Korean." Um hello there ping-pong its the same thing.
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