Hector Medina, one of Argentina's wealthiest men, had his body cryogenically frozen until medical science can develop a cure for gunshot wounds. 

ABUJA, Nigeria (AP) - A Nigerian lawmaker says parliament is considering a bill that will make it a criminal offense for hospitals and medical workers to delay or deny treatment of gunshot wounds. 

inflicted by people fed up with Nigerian email scams.

President Obama, Professor Gates, and Officer Crowley chatted over beers at the White House.   Barack Obama picked Bud Light in the hope that we can all be buddies now. Officer Crowley  picked Blue Moon because he hopes this type of  misunderstanding only happens once in a blue moon.  Professor Gates picked Red Stripe because it symbolizes the wounds inflicted on the backs of his ancestors by their oppressive white slave owners. 

Freddie Mac Acting Chief Financial Officer David Kellermann, 41, was found dead of an apparent suicide by hanging.

Police said that the three gunshot wounds to his head, and his involvement with the nation's largest financial meltdown, were completely coincidental.

...brought to you by the typical morning commute, the onset of Spring and Deez Nuts brand trail mix. The only trail mix with five kinds of peanuts, three walnuts, fourteen pistachios and an acorn in each bag, but that's just too long to put on the label. 

Women with visible back wounds should not wear halters.

This Hard New York Lesson was brought to you by Deez Nuts brand trail mix. Mmm, this trail mix is GREAT! What's in it?

This article should help people get rid of their prejudices and discover what a wonderful country China is.You could freely express your opinion about the “Genocide Olympics”there-if you dared..

For example, chinese people are very honest .When they sell you a “hot dog” here in China it REALLY IS a hot dog that you eat.

And since we mention Dogs-The tibetean monks who were incarcerated have as much possibility to get out of jail alive  as a fat dog has of getting unharmed out of a chinese kitchen.

These highly aggressive tibetean monks attacked innocent chinese police officers.They  repeatedly smashed their foreheads against the police-bats….

Luckily no police bats were harmed! And some of these filthy tibetean bastards intentionally filled the street with their blood so that the poor police officers slipped and fell and hurt their buttocks.How unfair..

The chinese sports-system has been criticized because of the inhuman training routines for young kids.They are degraded and suffer enormous pain doing un-natural things.

But who cares-because thats exactly what grownups  voluntary pay their dominatrix for…..

The Mcdonalds restaurants in China offer now a MACTibet.

It consists of some bloody meat of unknown origin that has been beaten with a police bat until it surrenders…ah I mean until it is soft and tender.Some innocent onions that have been fried alive and their wounds soaked with mustard.All with  fresh mace.Delicious!

In a presentation to Irish Faithful, Pope Benedict XVI denounced clerical sex abuses, saying they were “egregious crimes” that had damaged the standing of the Catholic Church.

“The wounds caused by such acts run deep,” said the Pope, “some deeper than others, if you know what I mean.”

My roommate and I often play a game called "Fantasy Fist Fight." We got the idea from an episode of "Venture Bros." in which two of The Monarch's henchmen argue whether Lizzie Borden could beat up Anne Frank. To play, you choose anyone or anything: living, dead, real, not real, human, inhuman, and pit them against each other in a no-holds barred fight to the finish. Test your fantasy fist fight knowledge below!

1) Boba Fett Vs. Dog the Bounty Hunter

2) David Bowie Vs. The Marquis De Sade

3) Keith Moon Vs. The Loch Ness Monster (Moon gets a broadsword) 

answers:

1) Boba Fett has a reputation for fighting to the finish, while Dog is older and would probably weaken first. Fett has galactic bounty hunter training while Dog only takes down fat polonesian dudes. Fett wins and Dog is brought to Cloud City in Carbonite.

2) Bowie holds up well for a while, but is ultimately overtaken by the Marquis' drive to kill Bowie and masturbate into his wounds.

3) Keith Moon was a crazy alcoholic with boundless energy, rhythm, and strength. Give him a medievel weapon and he becomes a force to be reckoned  with. Nessie's scales are far too strong to be broken, except around her neck and belly. A few swings of that broadsword and the renowned Who drummer makes Nessie's head into a maraca.

Stay tuned faithful fist fighters!