To more accurately reflect her drug use, Amy is changing her name from Winehouse to Crackhouse.

Pamela Anderson’s manager recently demanded that photographers shoot her only with a "ring flash," which eliminates imperfections.  If only he’d manage Amy Winehouse or Carrot Top.  

...Amy Winehouse spent roughly $14 million on partying while on a 7 month stay in St. Lucia.  Most of the money went to pay for drugs & alcohol, new clothes, and her next 3 re-hab stays.  

Is Coca-Cola an effective form of birth control? Does rectal message cure hiccups?

Scientists who have devoted their research (and sadly, their lives) to these burning questions are converging on Harvard University for the 2009 Ig Nobel Prizes, an annual tongue-in-cheek tribute to studies that “cannot or should not be reproduced”.

Past winners of the illustrious award, include:

--Dr. Francis Fesmire, for a paper he wrote called “Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage”.

--Ellen Kleist and Harold Moi, for the cautionary medical report “Transmission of Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable Doll”.

--Three doctors at a Navy hospital in San Diego, for research into “Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis”.

By all accounts, the 2009 Ig Nobels are shaping up to be a fierce competition, with numerous projects worthy of taking home the top prize.

Among the favorites to win:

--Jon Gosselin, for a paper he wrote called “Marrying a Bitch Results in Birth of 8 Kids”. 

--Kanye West, for his research into “The Boundless Limits of the Celebrity Ego”.

--Thirty-seven doctors, for their study entitled “How in the Hell is Amy Winehouse Still Alive?” 

A suspicious white powder has been discovered hidden in a shipment of dictionaries.

“Nosey” workers spotted the unprincipled packets — which were headed for Madrid, Spain — at a post office in the Dominican Republic. Officials from the National Drug Control Agency intercepted them and found “a white powder that appears to be cocaine,” sewn into the lining of the books. Wasting no time, the NDCA called in Special Agent Keith Richards, who quickly confirmed the substance to indeed be booger sugar.

This is the third time in two months that drugs have been found sewn into book covers or cards bound for Spain from the Caribbean nation, prompting President Barack Obama to include the Dominican Republic on his list of 20 major drug producers. 

Not surprisingly, Amy Winehouse continues to hold the top spot on his list of 20 major drug consumers.

Boston Red Sox hurler Daisuke Matsuzaka allowed five runs in the first inning of a rehab start. That's the worst rehab start since Amy Winehouse.

Amy Winehouse is reportedly not only smoking grass but also grazing on it.  

New rules under the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act will require tobacco companies to cover at least half of the front and back of packages with graphic—and possibly gruesome—images illustrating the dangers of smoking.

Yowza!  That oughtta do it!

In related news,  Amy Winehouse was seen today entering a bank with a gun and a wheelbarrow.  

A British judge acquitted Amy Winehouse on Friday of assaulting a fan who asked to take her picture -- saying he could not be sure Winehouse's punching the woman was deliberate.

The judge said the same of Winehouse's hair, makeup and singing career.