In an effort to curb alcoholism, the UK has banned drinking games. The move is also modeled to encourage weight loss, as it’s impossible to eat British food sober.

Archeologists unearthed an Egyptian temple of the ancient cat goddess, giving many a better understanding of why god is so frequently sleeping on the job.

Republican Scott Brown won the MA senate race yesterday when, taking a page out of the NBC play book, the electorate cancelled liberalism after just twelve months.

Republican Scott Brown beat Martha Coakley in a major upset in Massachusetts. While Coakley is pro-choice, anti-war, and supports health care reform, Brown has a cool truck and we’ve already seen his penis.

Volunteers in Miami were on the street to try to convince Super Bowl prostitutes that there were other options for them. But after looking at Miami’s unemployment numbers, the prostitutes were just happy to have jobs. 

The US military now has morning after pills available at all health facilities. So you can get them in a desert in Afghanistan, but maybe not in western Massachusetts. 

The Prius has been added to the list of Toyota vehicles with faulty gas pedals that make the car speed out of control. The upside is you can’t even hear the Prius crash. 

Afghan president Hamid Karzi said this weekend that he wants security in his country to be turned over to local authorities by 2014. The US responded that it wanted it’s deficit forgiven and a Sylvester Stallone reality show, but didn’t expect to see that, either. 

President Obama has called for a bipartisan healthcare summit. Democrats are expected to give into some Republican demands, which Republicans are expected to suddenly oppose.