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 A Wii-diculous blog already in progress!
Just when you were
thinking, "Man, the internet needs have another comedian promote the
shit out of a blog about nothing," Dan Wilbur delivers writing about
his favorite hobby: Sadness.
http://philosowii.tumblr.com/
DEAREST Miis,
My
name is Dan Wilbur. You may remember me from The Apiary,
CollegeHumor.com, or that time I met your parents and did a poor job
keeping the conversation going after the question “so…you’re a
philatelist?”
This site is for YOU, the aberration from the norm
that enjoys searching for Barbaro’s Treasure in Zack and Wiki, instead
of gaining the trust of a young prostitute in your stolen car and
beating her to death with a baseball bat after consummation.
For
those of you who had the wherewithal to buy “cooler” or “less gay”
video game systems, I invite you to leave any comments or questions
you’ve been dying to ask a Wii player by e-mailing PhilosoWii@gmail.com.
This
site will feature News and Reviews, but mostly it will chronicle a
world seen through bluish-white glasses. If only I could type this all
out with the mere flick of a wrist!
Until next time!
Wii’re all in this together!
Dan
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 I think that girlfriends are a lot like iPhones: find a friend and dick around with his but don't go CRAZY and buy your own. Plus, iPhones are an excuse not to talk to anyone at a party. Then your roommate steals your iPhone and says he doesn't know anything about it, but you walk into his room one day (which is also YOUR ROOM) and there's your iPhone sucking your roommate's cock!
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 The Brobylonian Empire stretched from Western Asia to the verdant valleys of the Mediterranean. Their culture boasted many achievements, from the Tower of Brant, the Hanging Gardens of Brobylon, and a sexigesimal mathematic system, which included an understanding of the Pythagorean theorem long before Pythagoras. Too bad Pythagoras can’t use math to find the clit….where the f**k is that thing? However, the Bros are best known for the application of astrology.
F**king read the Wikipedia dude, f**k make you smart.
Horoscopes for the Week of July 4th:
Aquarius: You’re so original dude. I wouldn’t be surprised if you make the most original movie ever. Then you can just coast and hang with Ryan Reynolds and get bl**jobs with champagne.
Pisces: Dane Cook! What a f**king BRO!
Aries: Bro, listen. You need to shave the ‘stache. This is a Bro-ocracy, not a Cheer-ocracy. Read a book.
Taurus: Trent’s at 8. 31 Ave A. Don’t get confused and go to the Black Anus Bar and Grill again – even though that bar has those sweet BBQ wings and some really friendly dudes. Always a bro when you need one.
Gemini: Keg. Stand. Keg. Stand. Keg…stand. Keg stand, keg stand, keg Stand, KEG STAND KEG STAND KEEEEGGGG STTTTAAANND! Yeah! I f**king love this guy!
Cancer: Blue Moon? Where the f**k is the PBR? She’s changed you.
Leo: I read in Chloe’s astrology book that you’re independent. Which is totally true, you always leave the party to start the ghost riding competition. Watch out dude, because once I saw this kid run over himself on Youtube. F**k, dude.
Virgo: Lady Justice is blind, but Bro Justice is not. Remember that when Steve’s being a cunt about the microwave burritos again. Fucking NOT on the stove! They don’t taste better that way! F**king c??t.
Libra: Musical theater is kind of gay. But keep doing your thing man. That chick who played your wife in that last thing was pretty hot…I think…I don’t know. We showed up pretty blitzed. Was she a dude?
Scorpio: You say your going to the bar, but then you don’t call and go out with some muff-top bitty? I don’t mean to drag balls about this, but come on. Hershey highway?
Sagittarius: A centaur? That’s a sweet logo dude. I took my cousin to see Narnia, I thought it was going to be gay, but it’s almost better than Troy. Speaking of Troy, Brad, I heard you’re a Sag. You were f**king cut in that movie. Lets hang.
Capricorn: What? No. Naw dude. Naw. Woah….No.
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