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President Obama, V.P. Joe Biden, Prof. Henry Gates, and Sgt. James Crowley all met at the White House Rose Garden yesterday . Obama said, " I'm so glad we were all able to gather here today . Mrs Cindy McCain, the Anheuser-Busch heiress was happy to donate a few kegs of Budweiser for this important occassion . " A very frustrated Prof Gates moaned , " I don't wanna be drinkin' that old Cracker Lady's beer . Gimme a Colt .45 instead ! " Joe Biden agreed, " Yeah, I think I'll have a Scotch & Soda instead of the beer . " Sgt Crowley joined in , " The Bud's fine but i rather they drop a shot of whiskey in mine and make it a Boilermaker . " Not willing to be out done by his manly guests, Barack told the White House waitress " Oh Missy , can i please have a double Pink Frozen Daiquiri ? " ........ Five minutes later the gang of 4 were heard whooping it up and telling Michael Jackson Jokes .................................................................................(K&W)
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Boxer Marco Antonio Barrera retired following his lopsided loss to Manny Pacquiao. Most fight fans were stunned, figuring he'd retired before the fight.
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Barry Manilow has either backed out, or was canceled (the more likely scenario), from appearing on "The View" -- because he didn't want Elizabeth Hasselbeck to be among the interviewers. Here's what he posted on his Web site:
I had made a request that I be interviewed by Joy, Barbara or Whoopi, but not Elisabeth Hasselback [sic]. Unfortunately, the show was not willing to accommodate this simple request so I bowed out. It’s really too bad because I’ve always been a big supporter of the show, but I cannot compromise my beliefs.
And apparently, what Manilow believes in is a one-party system. Conservative Elizabeth Hasselbeck, on the other hand, is OK not only with sharing the stage every day with three liberals plus a liberal guest, but look at how graciously she doesn't even discriminate against Jewish fudgepackers:
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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Whoopi Cushions Michael Vick in 'View' Debut
Whoopi Goldberg used her first day on the daytime chat show Tuesday to defend football star Michael Vick in his dogfighting case. Goldberg said that "from where he comes from" in the South, dogfighting isn't that unusual.
Goldberg said that for many people, dogs are sport, adding that it took a while for Vick to realize he was up against serious charges. "I just thought it was interesting, because it seemed like a light went off in his head when he realized this was something that the entire country didn't appreciate."
In that case, Goldberg would understand if, as punishment, Vick was lynched just as his dogs were, since where he comes from in the South, lynching black people wasn't that unusual until recently. In fact, many considered it a sport, and I thought it was interesting to see a light go off in some KKKs' heads when they saw they were up against serious charges and realized this was something the entire country didn't appreciate.
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I've got pneumonia and arthritis,
asthma, diverticulitis,
measles, mumps and whooping cough,
kidney stones, my liver's soft,
trichinosis and thrombosis,
not to mention some neurosis,
headaches and post-nasal drip,
I fell down stairs and broke my hip,
ingrown toenail and the gout,
ran with scissors, poked an eye out,
acid reflux, fallen arches,
doctor says to eat no starches,
glass eye with astigmatism,
can't go dancing – got no rhythm,
anaphylaxis, splitting migraines,
sympathetic labor pains…
… but other than that, I can't complain. How are you?
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I've got pneumonia and arthritis, asthma, diverticulitis, measles, mumps and whooping cough, kidney stones, my liver's soft, trichinosis and thrombosis, not to mention some neurosis,
headaches and post-nasal drip, I fell down stairs and broke my hip, ingrown toenail and the gout, ran with scissors, poked an eye out, acid reflux, fallen arches, doctor says to eat no starches, glass eye with astigmatism, can't go dancing – got no rhythm, anaphylaxis, splitting migraines, sympathetic labor pains... ... but other than that, I can't complain. How are you?
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