Wal-Mart has introduced a line of caskets for sale in its online store.  To better serve the typical Wal-Mart consumer, they’ll offer three sizes – large, extra-large and “We’ll have to remove a wall.”

The manager of a bank in Essex has apologized to a customer after sending him a debit card bearing the name Dick Head.

The customer whose name is neither Dick nor Head, said he did not spot the insult until he was handing over the card in a supermarket to pay for something a few days after it arrived in the post.

"I couldn't believe it," he said.

"When I got the card out I saw the name embossed on it. I was so embarrassed I put it back in my wallet.

"I know I've been overdrawn a few times but I've done nothing to deserve this.”

Listen Dick, have you looked in the mirror lately?

(We seem to be passing germs around but thanks to Dasher for this germ) 

I love Facebook. it's the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot

As part of President Obama's new banking regulation changes, what was once referred to as the bonus season will now be changed to the "Bone-us" season.

 Scientists have discovered that Neanderthals were more sophisticated than previously thought when they found jewelry and cosmetics in a cave.  They also deciphered a series of wall drawings to be several episodes of “Desperate Cavewives.”

Wall Street Journal Reports Conan to Receive $32 Million Payout; Staff to Receive $12 Million.

Masturbating Bear Gets Lifetime Vision Coverage. 

Andy Rooney's latest installment on 60 Minutes went something like this :  " Susie's mother sent me a box of Honey-Bell Oranges the other day . I bit into one only to find that little bastard Susie switched them with a box of orange-colored lemons . I really hate kids even more than I hate the holidays  .  Anyway, I was very happy to see sub-freezing temperatures in Florida recently . It was heart-warming for me to watch citrus growers scrambling to save their crops while losing millions of dollars in the process .       I enjoy the changing of the seasons here in New York . If I must suffer during these long, cold, winter months, so should the people who live in warm places like Florida and Hawaii . I also enjoy a few big snowstorms every year . I always wonder if somebody in my neighborhood will get a heart attack while shoveling snow ?   I hate to spend money, but at my age I rather pay a few bucks than die . Who wants to do all that back-breaking work when you can hire a couple of Mexicans for practically nothing ?   ........  I also look forward to those dark, cold, rainy days of winter that most normal people hate . I love a heavy soaking down-pour and seeing all those busy streets in Manhattan flooded . I enjoy seeing cold, shivering people all huddled together under one umbrella while waiting for a bus . I just can't resist the urge to hit the gas pedal of my big Lexus and aim for the puddles in the right lane . I wish you could see the terror on their faces when they know the're about to get hit by a wall of ice-cold water !  It really puts a big smile on an old man's face . .................................................................................disclaimer, not an actual quote by Mr Rooney   

I don't know which is worse, hearing the Grateful Dead at Kroger or listening to Luther Wright and the Wrong's bluegrass rendition of Pink Floyd's "The Wall." Either way, kill me quick.

I used to think I wanted to be a caveman...........until I saw the drawing on the wall.