I'd really love to take a vacation to Italy. Right now, I'm leaning towards Pisa.

In Gossau, Switzerland, police say a 47-year-old Italian man really raised the bar on reckless driving during 11 frantic minutes when he managed to rack up 15 traffic violations! The first was speeding past an unmarked police car. He then began driving dangerously close to other cars on the highway, then ignored three police attempts to pull him over. He then ran a stop sign, sped through a construction zone, and racked up eight more violations before finally being stopped.  ***MARLAR: When interviewed by reporters, Swiss police said they had no idea Billy Joel was vacationing there.

Hey, kids... the summer vacation you just enjoyed could be sharply curtailed if President Barack Obama gets his way. Obama says American kids spend too little time in school, putting them at a disadvantage with other students around the globe. Obama says kids in the United States need more school because kids in other nations have more school.  ***MARLAR: Also because grade school kids aren’t old enough to vote him out of office. 

A Malaysian state government says it plans to offer free honeymoons to save the marriages of couples who are on the brink of divorce. Ashaari Idris, a government official in northern Terengganu state, says troubled couples will be allowed to spend two nights at the state's scenic islands or beach resorts to help them rekindle their romance under a "Second Honeymoon" program.  ***MARLAR: Expect the number of “troubled marriages” to skyrocket if couple can get a free vacation out of it.

In other news, Lyndon LaRouche announces he will visiting earth for a week.

Vacationing on Martha's Vineyard, the President assured the locals from his $35,000 week's rental estate that they will definitely be covered by his new Health Plan, if they fall from their bicycles. The Pres claims the plan will even apply to broken legs!

 So we all have had a clear and good understanding of Brett Favres' definition of "Retired"...it means 2 to 3 weeks of vacation!

While on vacation in Florida, John Moyer was charged with misdemeanor battery after being accused of touching Minnie Mouse’s chest and buttocks in the Toontown area of the Magic Kingdom.  This is not the first time a Disney character has been accused of this type of crime - in 2004 a man who played Tigger was tried and acquitted of fondling a 13-year-old girl and Donald Duck was arrested for indecent exposure for not wearing pant - ever. 

The Italian police are investigating the theft of  $16m in cash and jewellery from a Saudi princess vacationing on the Italian island of Sardinia.  The police have no leads, but if anyone wants to see some sample jewelry pieces "that are very similar but in no way are the same", please visit Louie's Pawn Shop off exit 15A in New Jersey during their fire sale of middle eastern jewelry.

Mets manager Jerry Manuel's job is safe.  So he'll be better able to finance his vacation in October.