The laid-off worker said he will file for unemployment.  

Unemployment is now 10.2 percent. How bad is the economy? The economy is so bad that Archie is pimping Betty AND Veronica. The economy is so bad that people are using the DMV as a portrait studio. The economy is so bad the former Miss USA, Carrie Prejean, had to pawn her implants. The economy is so bad, Donald Trump had to fire himself. The economy is so bad, the Three Little Pigs can't afford to get swine flu. The economy is so bad, the GEICO caveman ate the GEICO Gecko. The economy is so bad, Madonna adopted a baby from Detroit.

According to White House numbers, the Stimulus package has created about 650,000 new jobs. In a related story, the Department of Labor announced 650,000 new hires in unemployment offices nationwide.  

Recession ends in 79 metro areas.......unfortunately, the unemployment lines do not.

With the high unemployment rate, it makes perfect sense for you ladies to consider the world's oldest profession.  Eliot Spitzer is offering top pay and ACORN will help you get a home. 

...Smartmoney.com has listed the 3 top signs that your home is about to lose value.  1. Lots of homes in the neighborhood have foreclosed.  2.  High unemployment rates in the neighborhood.  3.  Lindsay Lohan announces that she is moving in.     

Former President George Bush was visited by Katie Couric today at his ranch in Crawford Texas . " Mr. President , what do you think of the recent flap over President Obama's racial comments regarding Professor Gates and the Cambridge Police  Dept. , his failed attempt at health care reform , the rising unemployment rate , the increase in home foreclosures and personal bankruptcies , the wasted taxpayer bailout money that went to G.M. , his inability to get the Iranians and North Koreans to stop building nuclear weapons , and the continued downward spiral the U.S. economy seems to be heading in ? "  Bush replied by singing  " Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay , My, oh my, what a  Stupidly wonderful day ! "

Bill Laimbeer has stepped down as head coach of the WNBA's Detroit Shock. And Detroit's unemployment rate finally hit 100 percent.
 

President Obama is promising to deliver 600,000 jobs this summer.  Ironically, those are all positions at the ever-expanding unemployment office.

Unemployment applications are slowing down. That's because just about everyone is already unemployed.