A well-known vegan suffers a massive stroke and is left without any signs of brain activity.

Upon reading his chart, the nurse says:  "Huh... so I guess it's true: you really are what you eat." 

The other night my wife and I were getting ready for bed and she watched me for awhile and the she said, "Do you know who you remind me of?"

So I'm thinking older guys like Gregory Peck, Clark Gable, Dean Martin and I said, "No, who do I remind you of?"

She said, "Well when you get ready for bed you take off your glasses, you take out your teeth, you take out your hearing aids.  You're Mr. Potato Head."

At least when Favre chokes this Sunday just when he thought everything was perfect, he can look in the mirror to see that his jersey matches his face. 

Fellow jokesters: 

I'd like to issue a challenge for you to create a joke, or jokes, on the following true subject:

"Tiger Woods is in a sex addiction facility in Hattiesburg, Mississippi"

There's some great material there; I just want to see what you funsters can come up with.

I have one or two that I'll post, so, let's have at it!

Dasher

Years ago, I made a deal with the Devil to get Pat Robertson to stop making stupid comments. And now this: "Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it," he said on Christian Broadcasting Network's "The 700 Club." "They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal."

Parents, teachers and activists lined up last week for the chance to help shape the way history will be taught to millions of Texas children for the next decade.  The State Board of Education began taking testimony, and early quibbles over how much prominence to give civil rights leaders such as Cesar Chavez and Thurgood Marshall, and the inclusion of Christmas seem to have been smoothed over. But board members are still crafting dozens of amendments to be raised for consideration before the tentative vote, expected Thursday. The 15-member board won't adopt final standards until March.  ***MARLAR: That’s right parents, your kids are being taught true American history – so long as it’s approved by popular vote. 

This is absolutely true: there's a group called "Draft Dick Cheney For President, 2012". Hey, good luck with that. During Vietnam, they tried to draft Dick Cheney eight times and that never happened! 

Mark McGwire has finally admitted that he used steroids.   

This just in: 

Kermit the Frog not real.

Balloon Boy event was a hoax.

Coming up next: Pete Rose press conference.

A Spokane, Washington couple are collecting aluminum cans to help pay for their wedding.  Andrea Parrish and Peter Geyer already have more than 18,000 cans in their living room - nearly 5 percent of their goal of collecting 400,000 of the containers.  The local paper says that would be about 5 tons of aluminum, worth about $3,800 when recycled.  ***MARLAR: And in true wedding fashion, they are transporting all of the cans tied to a string on the back of their car.

Q. Does a bear shit in the woods?

A. Will the St. Louis Rams millionaire motherhunchin' losers...yet again, watch another Super Bowl this year at a teammates downstairs wetbar, mumbling..."what up wit dat?"

Q. Is the Pope Catholic?

A. Are the St. Louis Rams hoping that Kurt Warner gets sacked, hurts his infamous "pinky" and has his wife act as his "Mommy" figure as many times as an Arizona Cardinal as he did as a St. Louis Ram?

Q. Is a bean green?

A. Will the Whopper Jr......Rush Limbaugh...being denied "entry" into the world of the St. Louis Rams...be considered the St. Louis Rams ONE TRUE victory of this season?

Q. Is yo head...dead?

A. Is Marc Bulger a PUSSY?  

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT!!!