Toyota's problems are widespread and scary! Everyone is frightened!

I got in a friend's Prius the other day and, when he turned the ignition on, the voice in the navigation unit started reciting the Rosary.

Hey, even before the Toyota accelerator scandal I had my doubts about how savvy these folks really were.  I mean, last time I checked, aren't these the guys that are still eating raw fish with wooden sticks?

Toyota announces solution to the Prius brake problem by simply renaming car the Pius…. You still won’t stop and you will still die…but you are guaranteed going to Heaven.

The Prius has been added to the list of Toyota vehicles with faulty gas pedals that make the car speed out of control. The upside is you can’t even hear the Prius crash. 

A New York City fourth-grader was sent to the principal's office and nearly suspended for bringing a 2-inch toy gun to school.  Nine-year-old Patrick Timoney and a friend were playing with Legos in the cafeteria at Public School 52 in Staten Island on Tuesday when Patrick produced the tiny plastic machine gun and put it in the hands of a plastic police officer.  After Patrick's mother got a call from the school, his parents met with the principal and persuaded her not to discipline him if he agreed to leave the toy gun at home.  The boy's father, also named Patrick Timoney, says principal Evelyn Mastroianni "went overboard."  ***MARLAR: The toy police officer has been suspended for not confiscating the gun from the fourth-grader. 

.........that Thelma and Louise were actually Toyota test drivers...….

Toyota halts production, sales, and will recal millions of cars due to sticky gas pedals that may cause sudden acceleration.. Funny thing: Toyota owners would have welcomed such a problem in the 1970's.... the SUDDEN ACCELERATION problem that is.... because those cars HAD NONE!

A toy company in Arkansas has just announced their new board game. It's called:

"Incest! The Game The Whole Family Can Play!"

So said self confessed sex-addicted, Tiger Woods as he left the rehab clinic today . " I know without a doubt in my mind I am 100% cured of my need to hump beautiful Blonde White Women . As part of my treatment I was not allowed to talk to anyone on the outside or have access to TV or Radio . While I was away my agent picked up a major new product endorsement for me  . On Sunday, I will become the new offical spokesman for Toyota at the Superbowl . Right now,  I just can't wait to get my hands on a couple of  Young, Smokin'-Hot, Small-Boobed, Oriental Babes I met at the Auto Show last month  ! "