This is a warning to all the kids who stop at Dick Cheney's house this Halloween.You will NOT,I repeat NOT,be bobbing for apples.It's one of his water torture come-ons.

Everyone visiting former vice president Dick Cheney's house that night gets a free shotgun blast in the face. Cheney's excited about Halloween. He's going to go out trick or treating as the ghost of torture past.

The downward slant is now gone. His wife finally had him waterboarded and he was botoxed to 'straight lip!' He has now filed for divorce claiming 'marital torture.'

They included threats against relatives, mock executions and repeated screenings of "Bruno."

Here they are:

H1N1 shots of flu virus

Reruns of "Friends"

Barrage of Obama Health Plan Speeches

Constant viewing of reality shows

24-hour drivel (everyday!) by Kathy Lee Gifford talking about making pita bread

Cheney believes that anyone should have the freedom to marry.  It makes sense that Cheney would be a strong proponent of marriage since he also believes in waterboarding, sleep deprivation, and other forms of torture.   

A decision has yet to made on what to do with the prisoners, but we can be certain they won't be moved to New Jersey as Obama does not believe in torture.

Now that he is out of office, Dick Cheney decided he no longer had any use for them.  

Dick Cheney’s on a public campaign to defend the Bush Administration's use of torture.  Still, it’s better he should be shooting his own mouth off, than someone else’s.