Did you know? We now allow guest commenting and rating on all our jokes and comedy videos! No need to register, just comment and rate. Go ahead... knock yourself out! Underneath each joke and video you can click on comments to read and post, and click on a star () to rate.
Joke Search Results: Most Recent (From All Time)

Show Me: Most Recent | Highest Rated | Most Views | Most Shared | Most Comments

From Each: Day | Week | 2 Weeks | Month | 3 Months | 6 Months | Year | All Time
Search "Tool" returned 59 Jokes
  1 2 3 4 5 6  Next Page

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Self-Checkout Blues

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Nov 3, 2009
Category: News  

A new study has found the fear of looking stupid stops people from using self-service checkout machines -- but hiding in a crowd helps. And that could give stores some tips on how to handle self-checkout, which is becoming a very popular cost-cutting tool among retailers. The study found that shoppers felt more comfortable ringing up their own purchases if they were alone or in a crowd. But if there was just one other person waiting in line behind them, they felt more pressured and less confident and were less likely to use the machine again or recommend it to others.  ***MARLAR: It might also have made them nervous to have some doofus with a clipboard hovering over them ready to ask about their checkout experience. 

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Tool Kit Gets Kid Suspended

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Nov 3, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

New York

1179 Jokes  34 Videos

An upstate New York high school senior suspended for 20 days because of a two-inch knife is fighting back. Matthew Whalen's family has retained a lawyer to appeal the suspension and clear his record. Lansingburgh Central School District Superintendent George Goodwin punished Whalen for having the small utility knife in a tool kit that was locked in the teen's car. Goodwin ruled it was a weapon that is forbidden on school property under Lansingburgh's "zero-tolerance" policy on weapons. Whalen -- an honor student, Eagle Scout and National Guardsman -- is scheduled to return to school Wednesday. He wants the suspension expunged because he's worried it might hurt his chances of gaining admission to the U.S. Military Academy.  ***MARLAR: These zero-intelligence policies leave no room for logic.  Why would you have to go out to your car to go get your knife when you could just as easily use a sharpened pencil to get the job done?  And pencils aren’t banned!  And if you really want to inflict pain on someone in the classroom, go for a paper cut with lemon juice – those aren’t banned yet either. 

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Web Host
Visit My Profile
Web Hosting

By: Web Host (M)
Submitted: Oct 16, 2009
Category: Blogs  

Web Hosting

Web hosting is one of the fastest growing businesses as every website that is created, needs a web host to host their web hosting and thereby create its presence on the World Wide Web. Since the demands of web hosting are constantly on the rise, people are looking at the web hosting business as highly lucrative. Web hosting is indispensable and its requirements are constantly on the rise. The Internet is flooded by websites related to information, education, entertainment, businesses and much more and people are turning to the Internet for all the versatile aspects that it has to offer. A web hosting company therefore has acquired an accelerated impetus to catch up on the needs of the web masters and offer the best services and high-end technologies. Furthermore, with the birth of web hosting, the geographical limitations have completely been eliminated. So the online services can be offered and availed from just about any part of the globe.

A web host provider must therefore be equipped with all information related to web hosting technology, customer requirements, web hosting market trends and thereby keep apace with the latest in the web hosting industry. The technical skills of the web hosting provider would definitely come to good use once they have established a quality web hosting company for themselves. This knowledge will help the provider establish a strong base for their web hosting business. It is equally important to keep abreast with the trends in the web hosting industry and making modifications in order to offer the best and superior services to their discerning customers. Therefore, a basic knowledge of the technical skills related to web hosting becomes imperative in the business of web hosting.

Hosting coupons blog is dedicated to providing regularly updated web hosting coupons, offers, deals, webhost discounts, hosting rebates and exclusive promotions from the hostgator coupon companies - webcalendar hosting , fantastico hosting and web hosting control panels services

Furthermore, the customers are ensured of the fact that they are dealing with a capable company and this is absolutely essential for an operable web hosting business.

Once the web-hosting provider has amassed a good customer base; a regular and steady income is sure to flow in. The web-hosting provider on the hand is required to consistently offer quality and superior services, tools, applications and technical support in order to sustain and enhance this income.

The downside of the business that the web-hosting provider may have to experience is fierce competition in the web hosting industry. More and more web-hosting companies emerge daily and offer very cheap pricing structures. This could put a spanner in the wheel for some hosting providers, as few customers would prefer a cheap deal even if the support and quality of services offered by these companies is not too great. So the key to successful web hosting is to offer quality and great services at competitive prices. The initial investment would include expense on the hardware, software, infrastructure expenses, advertising, promotion, and merchant fees.

Initially, the web hosting provider may have to be prepared for a uphill job as the they may no or only a handful of clients and the company would be responsible for bearing all these expenses.




Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
Chris Brown begins community service in Richmond, VA

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Sep 17, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Chris Brown

34 Jokes  2 Videos

Chris Brown begins community service in Richmond, VA

According to Associated Press, "The 20-year-old R&B singer worked along with two others who were serving probation, clearing tall weeds and brush by hand and with yard tools."

 I thought bush-whacking was what got him in trouble in the first place.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

shel- the shtick guy
Visit My Profile
Who's Worse: Joe Wilson or Mark Sanford?

By: shel- the shtick guy (C)
Submitted: Sep 10, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Joe Wilson

15 Jokes  2 Videos

Congressman Joe Wilson blurted out in Joint Session of Congress that Obama is a liar, while Governor Mark Sanford, both representing South Carolina, 'tooled' with an Argentinian hottie. When polled, the average South Carolinian asked, "Who's Wilson and Sanford?"


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Gary B.
Visit My Profile
Madison, Wisconsin names plastic pink flamingo official bird

By: Gary B. (C)
Submitted: Sep 3, 2009
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Wisconsin

105 Jokes

In a close vote, the plastic pink flamingo beat out a rubber chicken, a duck decoy,  and a stool pigeon.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Hunter Downs
Visit My Profile
Big Brown

By: Hunter Downs (M)
Submitted: Sep 3, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!

A serial burglar was caught,when he dropped a deuce in a victim's toilet.He forgot to flush,being done in by his own stool pigeon. 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

Jason Hazelwood
Visit My Profile
Scary... Scary... Movie

By: Jason Hazelwood (C)
Submitted: Aug 14, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Billy Mays

40 Jokes  5 Videos

So....

Last night I was up late watching a scary movie... And there was this big scary guy with a garden tool and he was like...

I'm Back!

And I was like... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And then he said it's me Billy Mays for The Awesome Auger Garden Tool.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Gary B.
Visit My Profile
Lawsuit: dentist dropped tool down man's throat--twice

By: Gary B. (C)
Submitted: Jul 20, 2009
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Paris Hilton

250 Jokes  10 Videos

"If I sued every time I had a tool down my throat, I'd be richer than Bill Gates,"  commented Paris Hilton.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Hunter Downs
Visit My Profile
Can You Hear Me Now?

By: Hunter Downs (M)
Submitted: Jun 27, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Larry King

74 Jokes  4 Videos

This has been a strange week indeed. I haven't seen this many dead celebrities since Larry King, Joan Rivers, Betty White, and Peter O'Toole went out on a double-date. 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:
  1 2 3 4 5 6  Next Page
Sponsored By
Topics
Get Jokes and Videos in Your InBox!

Sign up for ourDaily LOL!


It's always fresh, funny and FREE!

   -or-   
Follow us on
Also check us out on:
   and   
* Your e-mail address will not be sold by us,
and you can easily unsubscribe at any time.
View our Privacy Policy.
Sign In to Your Account

Comedians, & Comedy Fans

Sign In to be funny!

Username:

Remember me
Password:

Keep me logged in


Not registered? No problem. It's FREE!
Joke Cloud (Popular topics)