A new study has found the fear of looking stupid stops people from using self-service checkout machines -- but hiding in a crowd helps. And that could give stores some tips on how to handle self-checkout, which is becoming a very popular cost-cutting tool among retailers. The study found that shoppers felt more comfortable ringing up their own purchases if they were alone or in a crowd. But if there was just one other person waiting in line behind them, they felt more pressured and less confident and were less likely to use the machine again or recommend it to others.  ***MARLAR: It might also have made them nervous to have some doofus with a clipboard hovering over them ready to ask about their checkout experience. 

An upstate New York high school senior suspended for 20 days because of a two-inch knife is fighting back. Matthew Whalen's family has retained a lawyer to appeal the suspension and clear his record. Lansingburgh Central School District Superintendent George Goodwin punished Whalen for having the small utility knife in a tool kit that was locked in the teen's car. Goodwin ruled it was a weapon that is forbidden on school property under Lansingburgh's "zero-tolerance" policy on weapons. Whalen -- an honor student, Eagle Scout and National Guardsman -- is scheduled to return to school Wednesday. He wants the suspension expunged because he's worried it might hurt his chances of gaining admission to the U.S. Military Academy.  ***MARLAR: These zero-intelligence policies leave no room for logic.  Why would you have to go out to your car to go get your knife when you could just as easily use a sharpened pencil to get the job done?  And pencils aren’t banned!  And if you really want to inflict pain on someone in the classroom, go for a paper cut with lemon juice – those aren’t banned yet either. 

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According to Associated Press, "The 20-year-old R&B singer worked along with two others who were serving probation, clearing tall weeds and brush by hand and with yard tools."

 I thought bush-whacking was what got him in trouble in the first place.

Congressman Joe Wilson blurted out in Joint Session of Congress that Obama is a liar, while Governor Mark Sanford, both representing South Carolina, 'tooled' with an Argentinian hottie. When polled, the average South Carolinian asked, "Who's Wilson and Sanford?"

In a close vote, the plastic pink flamingo beat out a rubber chicken, a duck decoy,  and a stool pigeon.

A serial burglar was caught,when he dropped a deuce in a victim's toilet.He forgot to flush,being done in by his own stool pigeon. 

So....

Last night I was up late watching a scary movie... And there was this big scary guy with a garden tool and he was like...

I'm Back!

And I was like... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And then he said it's me Billy Mays for The Awesome Auger Garden Tool.

"If I sued every time I had a tool down my throat, I'd be richer than Bill Gates,"  commented Paris Hilton.

This has been a strange week indeed. I haven't seen this many dead celebrities since Larry King, Joan Rivers, Betty White, and Peter O'Toole went out on a double-date.