One thing I learned about Singstar on PS3 tonight wasn't that I can get more than 9500 points for 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua, but that it builds the self esteem of tone deaf people.

After having afternoon sex with Peaches Brown, a well known 42nd Street prostitute , Dave called his wife and said , " Honey, don't buy any fish for tonight's supper , I'm bring home plenty of crabs ! "  

                                                    TOP 10

              REASONS TO HAVE SEX WITH DAVID LETTERMEN

10. He is the popular host of "Late Show with David Lettermen."

9. Because he has at least 2 Million dollars.

8. Not allot of choices in sexy late night hosts.

7. His network contacts may get you a job as the new producer of the CBS show      "48Hrs."

6. Because Kanye West may steal your chance.

5. He has a Top Ten list of things to do to you in bed.

4. He admitted to having sex with female subordinates. So he's not gay.

3.  Because NBC picked Jay Leno for the "Tonight Show."(Revenge)

2. Paul Schaffer may play you on.

1. Some one that brave to admit the truth. Must be well endowed!

He's doing much better today.   In fact, doctors have given him the OK to host Monday's Tonight Show.

Conan better hope the accident did not cause brain damage because NBC's health insurance plan does not cover pre-existing conditions. 

President Obama is a few hours away from delivering a major speech regarding health care reform to the joint session of Congress tonight.

Sources inside the White House say that the President is still working on his speech, and is re-considering opening his remarks with "Scuse me while I whip this out!"

Strange but true...

I'm sitting in one of the washroom stalls focusing on the number 2 when a voice pops up from the adjacent stall inquiring, "How you doing?"

Odd, I quickly try to dismiss with a smug, "Fine thanks"

Then I'm quickly puzzled by another response of, "What are you up to tonight?"

Awkwardly, I'm trying not to be rude or dismissive so I reply, "Just enjoying the show."

His response dropped my jaw when he asks, "So, how about we get together tonight after the show?"

Damn! There's a zinger... My bold reply, "Listen, no offense but I'm busy and..."

Quickly he cuts me off and states, "Listen babe, can I call you back, some idiot next to me keeps answering my questions."

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 I am going to attend college this August and shits kind of scary 'cause the cost of  the CSU and UC tuition has once again been raised due to the California's budget crisis. Schwarzenegger has been taking money out of the public school's budget to pay for some bills. I'm Fuck'in piste I may not afford  to for tuition. 

I wrote a song that I will sent to Schwarzenegger's Twitter page: A remix of The Black Eye Peas' "I gotta Feeling".

Here it goes!......1...2....3...4....

I gotta feeling..... that tonight’s homework won't be turned in 
that today’s classes will be empty
that tonight I'm not gonna afford to attend university 

Tonight’s the night night
Let tuition's high
some students can't afford it
but we need an eduction

Go out and tell Schwarzenegger
like Oh My God
California budget crisis

is fuckin students.... up 

I know that we could try to stop it
if we get down
and go out
and advocate for our selves

I feel stressed out
I wanna transfer
drink and get drunk  
and have a chance to say " I love college" 

seems like the filthy rich can afford tuition
Mazal tov!
Look at them pull their wallets
pay in cash

university will be shut down
higher tuition means no students will be a round
and we gotta make sure it don't happen 

Lets Do it 
keep tuition low

I gotta feeling..... that tonight’s homework won't be turned in 
that today’s classes will be empty
that tonight I'm not gonna afford to attend university 

Tonight’s the night night
Let tuition's high
some students can't afford it
but we need an eduction

Go out and tell Schwarzenegger
like Oh My God
California budget crisis

is fuckin students.... up 

I got the potential to be educated
Mazal Tov (L’chaim)
if people have an education behind a occupation
the  Cala-forn-e-a's economy be strong, Schwarzenegger!

I myself will try to stop it
from a university shut down
i don't want to be a college drop out
I'll exercise my citizen's rights, I'll become an action star. Then 

ran for gov. of California and actually do my job.

I'll do it
I just need 3.5 million for my campain.

I'll do it, I'll do it

I just need to pick up allot of bottles and cans

Here we come
here we go
we gotta get an education

Easy come
easy go
if we could afford tuition

Feel the shot
of being cheated
Thank you, Schwarzenegger

Round and round
up and down
around the clock

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
Friday, Saturday, Saturday and Sunday

students keep keep  on going
 can't afford university tuition
every everyday
every everyday

I gotta feeling..... that tonight’s homework won't be turned in 
that today’s classes will be empty
that tonight I'm not gonna afford to attend university................... gotta feeling?

CNN's 'Showbiz Tonight' has named Octomom the most controversial celebrity mom. In a related story Wolf Blitzer has named 'Showbiz Tonight' the most embarrassing thing on CNN.

Larry King said he's got a great show in store for his viewers tonight . Old time actor Mickey Rooney and veteran CBS News commentator Andy Rooney .  Mickey discusses his 88 years in show business, his 8 marriages, and the thousand's of young Hollywood starlets he made love to .  Andy promises not to be boring either as he shows off his vast collection of thumb tacks, paper clips,  jars of old buttons, rusty keys, and Indian Head pennies .  ...............................................................................................(kascha-whitney)