Three mice infected with the deadly bubonic plague are missing from a New Jersey bio-defense research lab.  ***MARLAR: Bio-terrorism experts are asking all pied-pipers to report to New Jersey for instructions.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez and Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi have joined forces to urge the world to redefine the word “terrorism”. The diplomatic equivalent of Oprah and Kirstie Alley attempting to redefine the word "diet".

www.jerrywolski.com

Vice President Joe Biden should head this unit.  Terrorists would give up information just to get him to shut up! 

While he was secretly waterboarding suspected terrorists at Guantanamo, Cheney's staff told Congress he was hiking on the Appalachain Trail.

Attendance is falling off dramatically at all Pittsburgh Pirates games and at all the Disney theme parks, because of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Said, the Prez, "First, it's the economy, then, it's terrorism, then, it's the dog, now, some pirates! Dammit! Hey, I played that as a kid. It was COOL!!!  Where's that Biden. I need some HEEEEELP!  Freakin' World economy!"                    

Cast and crew members of the Sci-Fi channel show "Battlestar Galactica" met with delegates of the U.N. Tuesday to discuss global terrorism, armed conflicts, and human rights issues.

It got ugly when star "Edward James Olmos" began channeling Nikita Kruschev by taking off his shoe and pummeling the head of a Cylon.

In an unrelated matter, original series star Dirk Benedict said he's opening his own coffee shop....Could someone tell him "Starbucks" is already taken?

The Obama administration said Friday that it is abandoning one of President George W. Bush's key phrases in the war on terrorism: Enemy Combatant. Other phrases considered for abandonment by the White House are, Tax Cut, Social Security, Strong Economy, Balanced Budget, Record Low Unemployment, National Health Care Plan, Stimulus Package, School Reform, Climbing Job Rate, and Bush Policy. The words, Hope and Change will soon follow.

In a bold move today, the security of the U.S.'s northern and southern borders will no longer be the province of the Department of Homeland Security. Instead, the President-elect strongly feels that  protection of the country over thousands of miles of border will best be handled by The Department of Dee-Fence. 

The officers are hoping their terrorism investigation leads them to crack the serial jaywalker case plaguing Arizona