People keep asking me, "Did ya watch the big game?" and "How about the super bowl?"

Let me explain something.  I don't watch football and I don't care about football.  I'll explain why that is.  Without argument, The NFL Superbowl is the largest event for the sport.  It's said that more people watch it than any other single broadcast in the country.  Now at least 80-90% of people I talk to say, "I only watch it for the commercials..."

WHAT!?!?!?!  WTF!  Seriously?

 So, the commercials are better than the game?  And we aren't talking about the minor leagues, either, we're talking about the Annual Pinnacle of the sport!  And more people watch it for the commercials than the game?  These same people would tell you they don't like commercials and that they are thankful for their DVR so that they can fast forward through them.  READ THIS:  If the commercials are better than the game and commercials suck, then why would I watch the game, much less any of the less-anticipated games of the season?  

I'm starting to wonder if Hal-mark or Hershey is somehow behind this.  Way to create another holiday, guys!

 Then again, I'm also assured that I "just don't understand football."

People keep asking me, "Did ya watch the big game?" and "How about the super bowl?"

Let me explain something.  I don't watch football and I don't care about football.  I'll explain why that is.  Without argument, The NFL Superbowl is the largest event for the sport.  It's said that more people watch it than any other single broadcast in the country.  Now at least 80-90% of people I talk to say, "I only watch it for the commercials..."

WHAT!?!?!?!  WTF!  Seriously?

 So, the commercials are better than the game?  And we aren't talking about the minor leagues, either, we're talking about the Annual Pinnacle of the sport!  And more people watch it for the commercials than the game?  These same people would tell you they don't like commercials and that they are thankful for their DVR so that they can fast forward through them.  READ THIS:  If the commercials are better than the game and commercials suck, then why would I watch the game, much less any of the less-anticipated games of the season?  

I'm starting to wonder if Halmark or Heshey is somehow behind this.  Way to create another holiday.

 Then again, I'm also assure that I "just don't understand football."

Let's just cut to the punchline here.  I need to focus on a stupendous display of idiocy; The WBC.  No, this is not a media outlet, it is not a new political faction, it is not a new Pro Wrestling nor MMA Production.  This is Westboro Baptist Church.  These are the "God Hates Fags" morons that go around protesting Funeral Services of military service men and women because they believe that God hates homosexuals sooooo much that he is killing our soldiers to punish us for being a country full of people who accept/tolerate (whatever, you get the picture) homosexuals.  He is punishing us for our complacency...one IED at a time.  Gotcha. 

Okay, first, do these people even read The Holy F--king Bible?  Don't these assholes realize that the last time God was pissed off with flamers he turned Sodom & Gomorrah into dust? Do you think that God did that one soldier at a time?  I' not thinking so.  I'm thinking it was probably something grossly more catastrophic than that.  Further, if he could pick off one soldier at a time, could he not also pick off one homosexual at a time?  So, if he's so mad with homosexuals, then why not pick them off?  Makes a little more sense to go direct to the source.  I'm not suggesting that's a good idea, just trying to make a point.  I have nothing against anyone for their sexuality.  I simply don't care that much about a person's sexuality with the exception of the fact that I LOVE LOVE LOVE (written with a lisp) to make fun of flamboyant men.  Sorry, it's just the way it is.  Chinese people are bad drivers, too. Those fawkers are hilarious.  I almost spit up my tuna salad sandwich at Jersey Mike's subs while watching a very flamboyant man order his sandwhich.  He was a black man with an accent.  Perhaps Nigerian.  I know, it's already hilarious.  He was dressed in khaki pants and a loud button-up shirt with Aussie-style cowboy boots.  He also had those crazy contacts that make your pupils look like star-bursts.  He was on the phone the entire time that he ordered his sandwich, paid for it and exited--never put the phone down.  What an ass, right?  Anyway, this guy starts dancing, like two-stepping and shimming his hips and wriggling his butt to the music that was playing the sub shop, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he's doing it, all the while talking on the phone and ordering a sandwich. Freakin' hilarious!  But I digress....

Back to the WBC. These people showed up outside the Twitter office in San Fransisco (they must have thought they made it to the belly of the beast of the 8th Boglia of Hell!).Why are they protesting Twitter?   Here's the quote from one protester, "Twitter should be used to tell the punks of doomed America that God hates you!"  What?  I'm speechless.  That is so far beyond retarded that I don't know how to respond.  Seriously.

So, here's the really good part.  Apparently, the 9 intelligent people of San Francisco who had nothing to do that day decided to gather to PROTEST the protesters, making a mockery oft he WBC.  These folks were holding signs that said, "God Hates Ponies" and "Sodomy is So Much Fun," just to name a couple.  Love it!  Frickin awesome.

It took less than 30 minutes for the WBC to abandon their Twitter Protest. LMAO!

 Anywho, I don't pretend to know God's intentions nor his preference about people's sexuality, but I can tell you I'm pretty sure that I know what he thinks about assholes.  

I found a book called "Power of Focus" in my closet today, while looking for something. For arguement sakes, lets call the item I was looking for... porn! So anyways, I have had "The Power of Focus" for several years now and haven't even read the entire first chapter! We are only talking 13 pages here people!! Perhaps the author didn't understand that people that would be reading the book "might" have a problem "focusing"!! So needless to say, NO props to this book or the book's authors for keeping my attention!! However, I did go to the bookstore today to get a book on "motivation"!! WooHoo, I actually managed to pick up a book and start walking toward the register to check out. After skimming through the book, It just wasn't motivating me at all! I have a funny feeling the author was related to "The Power of Focus"! Thank God I wasn't looking for a book on "Depression"!! I probably would have hung myself between the origami isle and Starbuck's stand!! However, if  my day job as a male dancer doesn't pan out I know I can be an author on pretty much anything, because the qualifications to write a book don't seem to be that stringent!!

I was talking to myself  recently as I usually do and I said to Myself,

"Myself I wonder where Global Warming came from?" 

And myself answered, "I know."  And he showed me.

And By Jove, I think he's got it! 

Jamie Love is Going to Hell 

I was at a bus stop waiting for a bus when this cross-eyed boy stopped in front of me. He then started talking in sign language to another boy about the same age. As I watched theirconversation, one and then the other glanced at me. Of course, this made me wonder what they were talking about. Then I proceeded to get paranoid the way one does when people are speaking Spanish or Arabic in line at the post office.

As I considered what to do, it occurred to me that if I wanted to let them know I was on to them, I would haveto get them to read my lips. First I would have to get the attention of one of them: “Hey! Over here. Look at me!” And then I would have to speak clearly and slowly: “I-know-that-you-are-talk-ing-about-me, lit-tle fag-got!” Of course,there was the chance that neither boy could read lips, in which case they would probably give me a quizzical look, move away and continue talking, now almost certainly about me. This would drive me crazy.

Another possibility was that the boy’s eyes were crossed because he had caught dyslexia, maybe trying to read the lips of a person with crooked teeth, gold fillings and really big lips, at night. As a result, maybe he would read, “Hey! You know about me? Here I are,that little talking faggot. Look me over!” Then they would be sure to laugh at me in sign language. I wouldn’t know whether they were laughing at me, the little talking faggot or me, the little talking faggot with poor grammar. Trying to convince them that’s not what I said would only exacerbate the situation. And to make matters worse, people would get angry at me and say things like, “Hey, little talking faggot! Stop harassing the cock-eyeddeaf-mutes!”

After a while the cross-eyed boy was going on about something, and was looking away from his audience. He didn’t notice when the other boy walked away, so he continued to sign. Soon, he turned and saw that he was alone. When he continued to sign, I thought he was just finishing his sentence. But he didn’t stop. I was bewildered and looked in the direction he was facing to find his new audience. Nobody. What the fuck? Deaf people talk to themselves using sign language?

All kinds of possibilities popped into my head. For example, what happens with deaf people with acute schizophrenia?Does everybody have to wait their turn to use the hands? Or are some voices assigned to the left hand and the others to the right (with slight to moderate grammar and pronunciation problems)? And does this lead to altercations where one hand is used to shut the other up?

And if deaf people sign to talk to themselves, are they allowed to have important jobs, where it’s necessary to be able to keep a secret? I mean, could a deaf person be trusted to be a spy? And what if they sign in their sleep? The social, personal and national security implications are staggering. And what do deaf people say about deaf people who talk to themselves?

Jay Leno is on Oprah today talking about Late Night TV.  Conan is on Dr. Phil getting therapy.

Steve Irwin, The Croc Hunter, died a tragic death several year's ago.  Now his daughter, Bindy has her own talking doll.  It says upbeat phrases like: "Let's save planet Earth!" and "All animals are our friends!"

I think it ought to say: "Dad, watch out!  It's a giant stingray!"